Wisdom from Dekker
As I, known by all as Dekker, lie here in my favorite sunspot by the window, I think about the curious human problems people ask me about. People fascinate me. Their emotions and strange habits make little sense to a dog (or cat or fish!) But I’ve learned to listen and give them my best advice.
My person has asked me to share some of my wisdom with you today. She likes how I notice small joys, and can tell when she is happy or sad by her scent. While I may not understand why humans stare at glowing rectangles for hours or why they don’t greet each other by sniffing, I do understand loyalty, love, and the joy of getting my ears scratched….even though she has never asked me to scratch hers!
So please, curl up in your favorite spot as I share some thoughts on a few people-questions that come my way.
Question from Sarah:
“Dekker, I’m struggling with work-life balance.
I feel guilty when I’m not working but exhausted when I am.
How do I find balance?”
Woof Woof, Sarah
Feeling pulled in different directions, like when I can’t decide between chasing the squirrel or staying on my comfy bed is difficult for me and most of my dog friends. Balance is tricky for humans too, isn’t it?
When I have a job to do, I do it with my whole heart. But then I also rest with my whole heart. Have you noticed how dogs never feel guilty about napping in the sunshine?
Humans seem to carry their work-bones everywhere they go… always holding them in their minds even when they’re supposed to be playing. What would happen if you put down that invisible work-bone when you’re not working?
I think about how I divide my day: work time, play time, rest time, eating time. They don’t blur together. It’s as if they are fenced in like a play yard. Could you create a fence around your time so you can’t run off and get lost?
But remember, even the most dedicated dogs need time to roll in the grass and feel the wind in their fur. Don’t you deserve the same?
Question from Miguel:
“Dekker, my teenager barely talks to me anymore.
How can I reconnect with them?”
Woof Woof, Miguel,
Teenagers remind me of young dogs who suddenly decide the pack rules don’t apply to them… They test those fences I just spoke about while wanting to know that the pack is still there.
I notice when humans want to connect, they often use many words. Have you considered that sometimes sitting quietly is more powerful? When my human is upset, I don’t bark advice… I simply sit close, offering my warm shoulder.
Young humans seem like scared cats to me. Or a squirrel in the yard…if you approach too directly, they run away. What if instead of asking questions, you just sat in his space without a yip.
I’ve learned that sitting quietly works better than barking. If I sit still long enough, the squirrel eventually comes out of his hiding hole. Trust that your teenager will come out too…when he feels safe enough.
When it comes to these young pups, the pack bond doesn’t break just because they’re finding their own scent.
Question from Taylor:
“Dekker, I feel anxious whenever the sky gets dark and lightening flashes.
I grew up where there were earthquakes and I know how
destructive the weather can be. How do you
stay positive with so much uncertainty?”
Woof Woof, Taylor,
Big worries about things beyond your control feel like thunder that never stops rumbling in the distance. I understand that heavy feeling.
I don’t worry about tomorrow’s weather, though. I simply adapt to whatever comes. There is wisdom in focusing on what’s right in front of your nose rather than what might be miles away.
When I’m scared during a storm, I don’t try to stop the lightning. Instead, I find a safe corner and sometimes a friendly lap. It would be good if you had a kind person whose lap you could cuddle in.
One thing I have learned is that even when everything seems to be falling apart, I can still smell dinner cooking, and feel my person scratching my ears. I have learned to find joy in these simple things. What simple things do you have in your life that make you smile? (I envy my human’s smile…I can feel a smile, but I am not real good at making my lips spread like that!)
Question from Jordan:
“Dekker, I keep comparing myself to others on social
media and feeling inadequate.
How do I stop?”
Woof Woof, Jordan,
When I meet a bigger dog at the park, I don’t spend hours wondering why my tail isn’t as fluffy. In fact I am seldom aware of my tail. (Ask my person about that!)
Those glowing phone-bones seem to cause humans so much distress. And I may not be the best person to ask because I really don’t like that my person spends more time there than with me.
Woof!! You would think I could at least have my bone at the same time—much tastier, BTW!
Have you noticed how humans often look at screens instead of smelling flowers or watching clouds? The real world has so many good scents and they miss them all! Woof…that makes me sad.
You are the only YOU in the entire dog park of life. I would be running in circles if it were me! Woof!
Question from Alex:
“Dekker, I’m having trouble getting
motivated to exercise regularly.
Any advice?”
Woof Woof, Alex,
Exercise troubles are a mystery to me. I don’t understand why humans don’t just wiggle all over when they have the chance to go out. When someone asks if I want to go for a walk, I’m already at the door before they finish the sentence!
Perhaps your exercise is too complicated? For me, running is simply what happens when I’m happy. What make you happy enough to run down the street?
I get excited about walks— new smells, squirrels, and time with my favorite human. What makes movement more interesting for you? What are the scents you like the most? Can you run there?
Sometimes my human puts on special clothes just to move around and sweat. It seems strange to me, but I always join in because I love being part of a pack. Do you have a pack you could move with?
Remember, the simplest answers are often the truest. Sometimes all we need is a good nap, a brisk walk, or a loyal friend by our side.
Until next time, may your kibble bowl always be full and your favorite humans always close by.
And if you really want to see me get excited and maybe even smile (I’m still working on it!), you could leave a comment, because, woof! I get a piece of kibble for each one. Woof woof!!
Want to read more of Dekker’s advice?
Hit the ‘Dekker’ tab at the top, or even better, tell us where to send TheReflectivePen!
