What’s the Purpose of Growing Old?
We are all going to grow old…if we are lucky. But not everyone is able to find meaning in the process.
However, there are some important steps we can take to bring meaning and purpose no matter how old (read: decrepit) we feel.
We can begin by looking for meaning in the lives around us. I found this in Paul, an elderly hermit-type neighbor I had years ago.
At that time, life was difficult, and I often succumbed to “Is this all there is?” We lived in the country and heated with wood using a couple of small stoves. This wood needed to be cut and split, and toted into the shed.
I did my share, but I wasn’t in great physical shape. But Paul taught me how to find purpose in simple things. Paul made a living harvesting fiddlehead greens from the roadside in the spring and worms from harvested corn fields in the fall…and helping others with things like splitting wood.
Paul had little materially, but in my frequent chats with him, I recognized his life was full. He taught me about meaning and purpose.
Another way to find purpose is to connect with others with a shared mission. It may be collecting food for the hungry or knitting for the homeless.
I’ve certainly done some of that, but it isn’t all about the tuna fish or the mittens. I found meaning in the collective efforts of a community working together for a common cause. There is a shared strength that we can’t conjure up on our own.
It wasn’t until I retired that I found the time to explore my religious beliefs in depth. I had certainly done so with education in seminary, but trust me…there isn’t a lot of time in formal education to plummet the depths of your heart and listen to other voices.
If you have always had one sustaining belief, celebrate it. But if you are like the majority of people in our land today, you have struggled with your traditional faith practices, perhaps even leaving them altogether.
One of the most meaningful things you can do is explore other paths, listen to other voices, and decide for yourself what is nourishing you and what it may be time to surrender.
To those who may come from a strong Christian background that quotes Jesus as saying “I am the (only) truth and the way,” let me share my personal belief and understanding of this. I easily substitute “Love” for “Jesus.” For me, it is not a human I follow but Love. To do so has made traditional scriptures incredibly fuller and more meaningful.
Another path to meaningfulness is to seek out new knowledge and experiences. I was over 70 when I decided I wanted to learn how to create a website and start a blog.
Just this week, I bought a new device for reading and writing (no, not a new pen!). I am ‘kicking the tires’ on a Supernote 5X, a device specifically for reading and writing.
The reviews are great—and I notice that they are written mostly by people under 50. There is a reason! This thing is challenging, but I practice an hour a day, and pretty soon, I’ll be reading ebooks in style and doing a lot more of my writing in long hand.
I’m told my brain works differently that way. We’ll have to see about that!
One of the fun things we get to do as we get closer to the finish line is to assess our lives and make changes if necessary.
There are things I no longer do. Not because I can’t but because I want to use my energy and resources in a different place.
I don’t travel thousands of miles by plane anymore. I prefer to take a fifty-mile road trip and explore my own backyard.
I no longer play in the community band because they practice until 9pm and I like to go to bed earlier than that. By doing so, I can arise before the sun and greet each new day with joy.
Finding meaning and purpose is not a destination. It is a journey.
The older I get, the more willing I am to take this kind of journey. It doesn’t take an airplane ticket or reservations. It doesn’t even take a roadmap if I am willing to be adventurous.
We are fortunate when we have companions for this journey, but realistically we may eventually find ourselves on a solo trip, if we aren’t already.
I plan for that in a number of ways. The big one, of course, is financial planning. But beyond making out wills, life brings many opportunities just waiting for solo travelers, from dating sites to group events to intentionally pursuing a contemplative life.
We could have an entire conversation about this one aspect alone. A trip awaits!
Finally, it is important to be patient in the process of finding out what is truly important to you. Julia Cameron has written an incredible book, “It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again” in which she offers many creative suggestions to retirees.
The book is packed with sections of questions that will take you on a deep dive into places you probably have never explored and gently encourages you to surrender the roadblocks that have held you back so you can explore the possibilities ahead. I highly recommend it!
Each day our journey begins anew. What direction is your boat sailing today?
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