What is an Ethical Will and the Steps to Creating One
Have you written out your Ethical Will yet? I am not talking about papers you draw up with a lawyer that designates who is going to receive your ming vase and diamond ring when you die.
Although that is an important topic, there is another kind of will that is a more personal document.
This will is written when you want to pass on your values, principles, and life lessons to people you leave behind.
An Ethical Will doesn’t require a lawyer, although you could file it with your legal papers if you wish.
Why have an Ethical Will?
Why would you want to write an Ethical Will? I can’t tell you what your ‘whys’ are, but I can share my reasons.
First is how it benefits my life today. Sort of a memoir to myself. By examining those things that have shaped my journey and looking at why I chose the paths I did, it becomes a tool for self-reflection.
That leads to personal growth, which is one of my definitions of being alive. As long as anything is still alive, by definition, it grows.
Unlike writing an entire memoir, however, I do not have to be concerned about editing, publishing, or marketing an ethical will. It can be as brief or expansive as I want.
I can write it in a notebook or on a computer. It becomes a statement and collection of the values and ideas I want to pass on to my heirs.
What goes into an Ethical Will?
Although it has no market value, it becomes a treasure no one else can give my loved ones.
I also have some physical things that have no financial value that I want to organize and leave because they represent who I am beyond my ‘tangible assets.’
These are items whose value is reflected by the investment I made in living a full life and might include
Recipes
Family photographs
A favorite piece of clothing together with the story of how it became my ‘painting shirt’.
A poem I wrote
A tiny journal of prayers that I have kept over the years
A tape recording of my voice or even a PowerPoint presentation using today’s technology.
One thing I know about myself is I cannot decide to do any project that encapsulates my whole life in one weekend.
How to have a helpful mindset
I think of the assembly of my ethical will a little bit like collecting wildflowers to adorn my home. I only bring in a few every so often because they don’t last long and they are going to change with the seasons.
Thoughts are like wildflowers. We can only collect a few at a time.
And if you are anything like me – and most people – collecting your thoughts is on a par with collecting dinosaur bones. Where do you begin? How deep do you dig? How do you preserve them?
One challenge I always have when I want to create anything is structure. I never know what comes first, what would best be left for later, and how to organize and file all the bits and pieces.
What I really like about an ethical will is there is no standard structure, no rules, no ‘shoulds.’
Some people prefer to write letters or journals, other people don’t like writing at all but are comfortable talking into their cell phones, and still, others prefer to draw or make collages.
Our lives are unique. So what we put into an ethical will results in a one-of-a-kind treasure.
I like to think of creating an ethical will as quiltmaking – not that I have ever made one, but I know some people who have.
They have stashes of small pieces of fabric that they collect the same way I collect memories, and recipes, and prayers.
When these scraps are all laid out they may create a wonderful design.
My scraps would result in a ‘crazy quilt”.
The design is not really what is important. A quilt’s primary purpose is to keep people warm who snuggle beneath it.
Hold that image as you think about creating your ethical will. There is no better way to warm the souls of your descendants than to leave them a piece of your heart.
How to begin
One way I tackle a project of this magnitude is to keep it simple — and habitual.
A small box for tiny meaningful items.
A small notebook for scraps of thoughts.
I use little 3×5 journals by Moleskine. Just writing one line each night before bed (or first thing in the morning) can become as habitual as brushing teeth.
I have no plans to write a whole book, but I can write what I am grateful for that day in one sentence.
Or I write a small prayer. A collection like this may be priceless for someone who inherits it and needs to know that the light still shines in the dark.
You may want to make a list of broad categories like religion, political views, charities you support, health practices, hopes for the future…and beneath each of these categories write out your ‘whys’.
And add to the categories according to your life and your values.
These are the sorts of things that are not included in a Last Will and Testament. They cannot be invested in the stock market but they can be invested in lives struggling to survive.
Look forward to more ideas from TheReflectivePen for creating your own Ethical Will and feel free to leave comments and questions below.
Photo Credits by Unsplash – Recipe by Sincerely-media; Quilt-making by dinh-pham; Photos by Cole Keister; Man-holding-light-bulb by Riccardo Annandale; Journey by Hello-i-m-nik; Small-journal by Jeff James]
