Aging and Writing
Is writing something that you have wanted to do, but find that the older you get, the more reasons you can come up with for not doing so? Is aging a good excuse for not writing?What gives us the right to call ourselves a writer, anyway?
I didn’t start to write a blog until I was in my seventies and now as I creep towards my ninth decade I find myself working on several books and essays.
Is this what makes me a writer–or have I been a writer all along, even when I had nothing to publish? I am the same person I was before I started the blog. How about you? Perhaps you are a writer too.
One of the biggest hurdles of writing as we get older is Imposter Syndrome. It isn’t as if I hadn’t been writing in my professional life along with occasional (but rare) pieces of snail mail and an occasional poem.
I also had an on-again, off-again affair with journaling.
And my attempts at creative writing? Well, let’s just say we broke up many years ago.
I bump into many people ‘of a certain age’ (don’t you just love euphemisms!) who say they wish they could write and my response is to say, “You can!”
And then I go away feeling like a charlatan. Who am I to give advice about writing?
I hated English classes in high school and college.
I never took a writing course, I don’t have a string of publishing credits after my name and no one is waiting for my next book release…except me.
As we age we get farther and farther removed from writing at a time when our memories are beginning to wane, and our voices lose impact because of our self-doubts and buried skills.
This doesn’t need to happen.
What I know about writing
So I sat down to make a list of what I do know about writing, with the hope that you will feel encouraged to pick up a pen and begin.
The first secret I know about writing is that words are not stored in my brain. They are stored in the barrel of every pen I use and are just waiting to spill out on a piece of paper.
It’s when I think that I must trust my brain for creating something brilliant that I give up in dismay. But my pen? Well, that is neutral, and it is waiting to surprise me.
I learned that if I allow a pen to dance across the page without the interference of a lot of thought, words will spill out. I stand in awe at how that happens: words become phrases, become sentences, become paragraphs, become stories.
Writing is not a performance
Writing is a craft, not a performance! To try to make everything perfect as you go along is like trying to hang just the right curtains on a new house that only has the foundation in place.
If you have ever built a house you know it starts out very messy as bulldozers clear the land and dig the foundation. Writing begins the same way.
Writing and walking are similar
Writing is also a lot like walking. There are no rules. Just put one foot (or word) ahead of the other. When I learned to walk I fell down more than I traveled forward.
And now, the older I get, the slower I walk….but I still manage to get where I am going—as long as I don’t weigh myself down with thoughts that I can’t do this very well.
Writing is exactly the same way! We toddle first.
Brains as meaning makers
Researchers tell us that brains are “meaning makers.” Give a brain a glimpse of a dent in the fender, and it will create the story of the dangers of parking lots and the reckless kid who is learning to drive.
Someone hangs up the phone before I can answer it and I just ‘know’ it was something important about a coming event, even though the number is not familiar. Probably spam…I make up another story on the spot!
I learned that if I give my brain 3 or 4 details an entire saga follows. That’s exactly the process of writing.
Writing is relief for an overworked brain!! Nothing happens until the ink leaves my pen. I never know what is buried in the recesses of my old brain until I write it.
My pen (or keyboard) releases the words that make that happen.
Every life (and pen) is full of stories and no two are alike, which is why I like using different pens and keyboards. They each release different stories. Trust me!
When it comes to a pencil I can write lists easily, but I have never found a tale emerging from its lead. You may have a different experience.
PTSD as the biggest barrier
Most of the reasons we hesitate to write fall under PTSD. Did you have English teachers use a red pen to bring judgement on your prose as if you were writing for the NY Times?
Instead of letting stories flow with awkward and simple words, we learned to strive for the perfect sentence. Not sure one exists!
I don’t know what the cure for this is except to write.
Often.
Celebrate mistakes. Misspell words. Use adverbs in every sentence. Ignore topic sentences. And throw out the five paragraph essay with perfect construction.
The best writing is often free of rules of grammer, style or punctuation.
Writing the way we were all taught in school is like trying to run on a road that has nothing but pot holes and detours every few feet. You find yourself stopping to change an adjective, add a comma, and rewrite for clarity.
It wasn’t until I gave myself permission to be messy with my writing that I really began to create.
Writing freedom
Instead, picture yourself racing barefoot across an open field when you were 6 years old and write with that kind of abandon. Find the freedom that writing that way can bring— and build a lot of writing muscle along the way.
I have learned that the tools I write with influence what I end up saying. (It’s about those words in the barrel thing!)
A free flowing, lightweight fountain pen carries a totally different story than a leaky old ball point, although there are stories in both. Experiment and let me know what you find out.
Writing and breathing
Writing is like breathing, but for years I depended on a writing ventilator. I turned to all manner of assistive devices and aides to help me breathe in ideas and breathe out reflections, poems and essays.
It wasn’t until I pushed out all the ‘how to books’, writing courses, and unhelpful opinions of others that I took my first really big gasp.
I continue to gasp… and cough… and spit… as I write.
We are NEVER to old
The final thing I have to say about writing is specific to anyone who feels it is too late to start. Remember Grandma Moses! We are never to old!!
And get a copy of Julia Cameron’s book “It’s Never Too Late To Begin Again.” She will lead you through all your fears and roadblocks with reflections and prompts for writing.
When we are too old to climb mountains and ride motorcycles we still have the adventure of discovering the words in our pens…and how to let them dance on the page and take us into worlds of fiction, fantasy, memoir, and mystery.
It’s the greatest adventure in the world!
And if you haven’t already joined The Reflective Collective, a private group on FB that brings you something to write about every morning, why not start today?! Here is the link.
