A Positive View of the End of Life
At some point in our lives, we will all have to face the inevitability of death. For many, the end of life can be daunting and difficult to come to terms with.
However, it doesn’t have to be a negative experience. There are many positive ways to look at the end of life that can help us make the most of the time we have left.
Focusing on memories
One of the most positive ways to approach the end of life is to focus on our memories and experiences.
Looking back on the good times we have shared with loved ones can help us find peace and acceptance near the end of our journey.
It can also be a time to reflect on our accomplishments and the legacy we will leave behind.
There are a number of ways I do this. It is so much fun sharing stories with family around the table and at celebrations like birthdays and holidays. There is always something to get us laughing.
If you do this, take candid photos because those facial expressions are precious. And with their permission, think about taping their laughter or your voice.
One of the most precious things I had for years after the death of my father was an old cassette tape of a family gathering with chatter, laughter, and his unmistakable voice in the mix.
But what if you don’t have family or the opportunity to gather?
Bring on the Zoom call!
Zooming is one of the best gifts from the Pandemic, connecting us with friends old and new anywhere in the world! You can set it up at the dinner table or even on a card table while you play poker…together over Zoom.
If, like me, you are an introvert, you may find journaling your memories is one of the best ways to remember your good times. And don’t wait until you are old to begin!
Some people I know started a diary in their childhood and still write today. They seem the happiest when they have a pen in their hand. I started after I retired. You can begin today. The ‘when’ doesn’t matter as much as the ‘what’.
Focusing on the present moment
Another positive way to approach the end of life is to focus on the present moment. It’s easy to get caught up in the fear and uncertainty of what’s to come, but by living in the ’now’ and cherishing our time, we can find joy and fulfillment in the small moments of life.
I live fully in the moment when I am shaping clay in a pottery class (and I am no artist! Believe me!).
Another time is when I sit and watch the sunrise early in the morning. What are some of your favorite moments to just ‘be?’
Embracing spiritual growth
For some, the end of life can also be a time for spiritual growth and reflection.
Whether through prayer, meditation, or other spiritual practices, connecting with our deeper selves can bring a sense of peace and comfort near the end of our journey.
That is one of the reasons I created Simple Spiritual Practices, to help people explore possibilities for inner growth. Learn more about this on-demand course by clicking the link.
I was more ‘religious’ when I was younger, but most of my beliefs rattled around in my brain and focused on ‘being good’ according to the rules.
I use that word with respect, but for me personally, religion as I studied it seems to stay all in my head. I had to move forward to where my faith became an embodied, practical, even mystical experience.
There is also something about the finiteness of life, of actually looking ahead to the unknown, that moved me from ‘being good’ to just ‘being.’
Today I consider myself a lot more spiritual than religious—in touch with Mystery, both within my heart and in the universe.
I don’t much use theological language even though I could because that tends to return me to my brain (my ego loves to think!) and away from my soul, that mysterious heart-center that has put up with my ego for decades.
And as I age, my understanding of mission has become more about encouraging and supporting people younger than I in their vision for the world I will be leaving behind.
It gives me great joy when someone says, “Thank you for how you inspired me.”
Inspiration is now my mission and joy! I plan to exercise that gift until my last breath.
Hospice can be a vehicle for living fully.
It’s also important to remember that the end of life doesn’t have to be a lonely experience. For those nearing the end of their journey, hospice care and other end-of-life services can provide comfort, support, and companionship.
But more than that!
These services help ensure that the end of life is a peaceful and dignified experience for everyone involved.
Having worked as a hospice nurse, I am very aware that most people don’t understand the gift of life that hospice brings, helping people “Live” until they die.
That means different things to different people. One of my favorite stories was about a woman on hospice whose gentleman friend lived in another town but had no driver’s license.
Twice a week a hospice volunteer would drive her to his house for a ‘date,’ filling her last days with joy and love.
Of course, it’s important to acknowledge that the end of life can be a difficult and painful experience for both the dying and their loved ones.
However, by focusing on the positive aspects of the process and finding ways to make the most of our time, we can find peace and comfort in the most challenging of situations.
I don’t know about you, but I plan to ‘live’ every moment of the finite time I have on this earth. There is no way I will finish everything I want to do before I die, even if I make it to be a hundred years old.
Every day I see something new and beautiful I want to pursue. Every person I meet is someone who will be touched by my life, for better or worse. I want each breath I take to be an “inspiration.”
This is how we can all have a hand in making the world a better place, even in the very last moment of our lives.
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