How Old Do You Have to Be to Become a Crone
I always wanted to grow up and be really wise. Is there a certain age when that happens? How old do you have be to become a crone?
When I was a child I thought all parents were 40, all grandparents were 60 (old!), and soon after that, dead. I never heard the term ‘elder’ and a crone was just an old hag.
Oh, how things have changed! Today I can honestly say my goal is to celebrate being a ‘Crone’. One of the best understandings of what it means to be a crone is written by Tessa Ridley
The Crone is a symbol of inherent wisdom that comes from experience. She has lived through love, sorrow, hope, and fear, coming out of it all with a wise and confident spirit. Through these experiences, she has learned the secrets of life and death and of the mysteries beyond this world. She has tasted death itself and watched those she loved to make the journey before her. It is through her mourning that she faces death, grows to understand it, and becomes the gatekeeper between worlds. The wisdom of the Crone comes only after learning the lessons of non-judgment and compassion.
Elders carry some of the same qualities as a crone, yet we sometimes refer to elders as just older people in need of public assistance.
When I was a kid, an elder was anyone older who had authority. How many times did I hear “Obey your elders!”
I never had the desire to become this kind of an elder. However, in tribal communities, elders are considered the “wisdom-keepers” and held in high regard.
They are respected for their wise gentleness in daily interactions with others who look up to them for guidance. Now, this is something I can aspire to. You can read more about elders HERE.
How to be a crone or an elder
I wonder if it is possible to aspire to be an elder or a crone, much like aspiring to be a musician or a doctor?
Or does it happen by some mysterious power to only a chosen few? How come as a child I was never given a vision of being a crone when I grew up?
I have never seen a course on ‘how to become a village elder.’ I have, however, had a number of failures and missed opportunities.
I have judged and been judged wrongly. There ought to be a degree awarded for these things.
I have lived enough years to understand that all my sorrows and fears bring creative changes in my life. These are what make an ordinary person like you and me into crones.
But it takes a long time…which is why crones and elders are usually old. But not always.
I have met at least one young person with the heart and wisdom of an elder.
When Elsa was in second-grade people said she had an ‘old soul.’ She never fit in with her classmates, and she carried many burdens without complaining. I might also add that she died very young.
An old soul indeed!
Is it any wonder, then, that people do not rush to seek certification as a crone?
How can you tell when you have become a crone?
Well, if there isn’t a specific age for crones and no certification from an institution of higher learning, and when you look in the mirror you aren’t looking at a hag and you don’t do magic tricks, how do you know you have reached your ‘crone years?’
I think the answer is we don’t know. One of the mysteries of life is that we see ourselves ‘in a mirror darkly’.
We see what we want to see. (I really haven’t put on many pounds. My shirt shrank).
Or what we fear. (I have gained too much weight to be acceptable). We seldom look in the mirror and see wisdom and love and beauty.
Wisdom – The Feminine Face of the Divine
In the Bible, wisdom—or Sophia– is the archetype of the feminine face of the divine.
I look again into the mirror. What exactly does one look for to see the divine in oneself?
I see my glasses perched on my nose. Corrective lenses have helped me focus on my path since I was 10 years old.
But what they show me isn’t all that I am able to see. The older I get, the more willing I am to pause and listen and forgive, and I discover new depth to my vision.
I see a scar I received from falling on my face. I have been falling on my face for a lifetime. When I haven’t learned to watch where I am going so as not to fall, I have learned how to extend grace for myself…and others.
I see wrinkles I didn’t have last year. Heck, I don’t think I had them yesterday! But I have been in denial about the physical changes in my body as if there were something distasteful about the signs of aging.
What I see as I focus on the creases around my eyes is how they make my eyes twinkle. I hope that is what my grandchildren will remember.
There is a softness in my spirit that parallels my skin which is getting thin…along with my hair. Is that a bald spot I see?
To embrace all these changes I have little choice but to grow in humility for myself and compassion for my friends and neighbors.
I am surrounded by bald heads and wrinkles…and love. Most all of them wear corrective lenses too.
Did you know that most aging eyes change shape, becoming more far sighted than when we were young? We can see clearer, farther down the road.
WAIT! So far everything I see reflects evidence of humility and grace, compassion, deep vision, joy, forgiveness and patience.
Is this not Divine Wisdom? Sophia?
I see a crone. And elder. Divinity.
What do you see in your mirror?
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