HOW DOES PREJUDICE HAPPEN?
WHAT IS PREJUDICE?
According to Webster, prejudice is a preconceived opinion not based on reason or experience. I have a lot of these opinions. Especially when it comes to ethnic cuisine. (Photo by Louis-Hansel on Unsplash)
If it has a weird texture or looks gooey, I avoid it because of some imaginative thoughts about what it might be. When it comes to very thick books, I avoid them because it is clear to me the authors can’t get to a point quickly.
My prejudice keeps me from fully experiencing things the Universe wants me to enjoy.
Prejudice is a sneaky thing. I used to think I am not at all prejudiced. If I have friends who are disabled, black, or transgender, doesn’t that make me impartial, at least among these groups? All that having minority friends proves is I have met people in these groups that I happen to like.
Most of us were raised with manners and learned to keep our opinions, fears, and doubts to ourselves and not be rude. But how do we honestly feel about the autistic man who can’t be quiet during a concert, or the increase in taxes to educate all the immigrants who are changing the face of our once quiet neighborhoods with their unfamiliar customs, foreign speech, and colorful parades?
WHERE DID DISCRIMINATION BEGIN?
I suspect there is an evolutionary imperative from the beginning of creation to stick with those who look and think like we do. Failure to discriminate in the days of living with wild boars and tigers that could eat us meant failure to survive. (Photo by David-Clode on Unsplash)
There is lingering anxiety – if not fear – even today when meeting someone whose skin color is different, speaks a foreign language, or whose music is built on a scale our ears have never learned to appreciate.
What if we had to eat what they eat and believe in strange gods and tolerate whirling dervishes in public spaces. We think, “Oh, I could never ______(fill in the blank).” No, it’s better we stick to our “own kind” and let them do their thing over there…somewhere else.
So we have Black churches, gay night clubs, and fancy concert halls where the homeless and mentally ill seldom go. Each to his own and we will get along just fine.
But to maintain this “fine” system, we must deny the prejudice in our thinking and choices. We fail to see our privilege, which allows and supports, racism, ableism, ageism, and homophobia. What is the cost of holding that privilege, and who pays for it?
HOW DOES PRIVILEGE FIT IN?
What privilege do you ask? Well, let’s see – I have the privilege of being a white woman with an education, food, and shelter. My mental and physical health allow me to take advantage of many opportunities.
Your privileges may be different. You may have the privilege of a strong family lineage. The privilege of owning land. The right to apply for any job for which you are qualified.
And the question of who pays for all of this? When I buy from Amazon because I have prejudged it to be cheaper and faster than the store independently owned by a Black American, I would have to say the Black shop owner just paid for my privilege to get an item in one day instead of three. As I said, prejudice is sneaky! And costly. (Photo by Sharon-McCutcheon on Unsplash)
HOW COMMON IS PREJUDICE?
Discrimination, prejudice, and racism are sneaky because we don’t recognize them when we are swimming right in the middle of them. It’s like asking a fish if he is aware of the water. Not until the water dries up, or the prejudice vanishes, do we say, “oh yes…I see it now.”
Making choices that discriminated unfairly was my style, if unintentional. These choices often failed to open a door for someone else. We forget that we don’t need our prejudice or racism to survive, in the way the fish needs water.
But it is hard to remember that when confronted with someone or something that challenges what we have always believed.
Do you remember the story of Jesus, who wouldn’t share his bread with the woman not of his nationality? He had always believed he was called to teach the Israelites. And only them. That was his prejudice.
Yes, even Jesus had prejudice. I’m glad to know that. It helps me hear what he has to say.
He told the woman he wasn’t ‘called’ to minister to her because she was from a different nation, and when she pointed out to him that even the dogs get to eat the crumbs under the table, Jesus was confronted by (oops) his ethnic discrimination.(Photo by Tim-Foster on Unsplash)
She called him to look at his beliefs. He believed that he had been called to teach the Jews and not the Canaanites. Instead of going to shame like I tend to do when I realize the error of my ways, Jesus immediately acknowledged the Canaanite woman and extended his ministry of love beyond his previously held beliefs.
What we don’t acknowledge, we don’t change. As long as I say “I am not racist” or “I don’t discriminate, I have no prejudices,” then I will not listen to a Caananite woman, or Black man, or Asian child who is trying to tell me of their need. Failure to listen is the ultimate prejudice, for we have already judged whether someone is worthy of being heard.
OVERCOMING PREJUDICE
How do we do this? I can only speak for myself. Failing to actively seek out books by people of color and missing some great writers is my loss. Until recently, Maya Angelou was the only author I could name.
When I get a customer service person who is difficult to understand and hit redial, my bias shows. I assume if they can’t make themselves understood they will not be able to help me. (Photo byAlexander-Andrews on Unsplash)
I have not been intentional about seeking out shops owned by Black Americans, and instead have supported Amazon, assuming it is a better deal, and I’ll get things faster. Have I checked this out or am I acting out of prejudice, an opinion not based in fact?
Discrimination, per se, is not the problem. When shopping for tomatoes, we need to discriminate between the fresh and the overripe. When buying a used car, we need to distinguish between lemons and safety. Discrimination only becomes a problem when there is prejudice – preconceived opinions – behind it.
I defend my biases and often am opinionated without reason. I make choices based on false information. Today, I am setting an intention to examine all the ways I avoid listening (reading, watching, buying) and hear what the Canaanite (person of color) is trying to teach me. “Even the dogs receive grace and mercy.”
For more on this topic, check out A Personal Look at Racism.
