A SERVICE DOG SPEAKS TO CAREGIVERS
My name is Dekker. I am a service dog, and I especially want to ‘talk’ to those of you who are caregivers. We are extraordinary creatures, you and I. We have a lot in common.
They call me a “Service Dog” because I help someone with special needs, and it is my job to keep an eye on my person 24/7 and ‘serve’ wherever I can.
You are probably not called a service dog, but I bet you feel like one sometimes. It’s hard to be on call all the time, especially if no one is giving you a bone or rubbing behind your ears.
What? You don’t like to have your ears rubbed? Try it…it is very relaxing!
You may not have had the training that I had to do this job, but I bet you would agree people have very little understanding of all our responsibilities.
People often ask Ardis, “What does he do for you?”
Sometimes I get so tired of questions like this. If I could speak, I would say “I love her” – and real love is always there to do whatever is needed. I look at her with my big brown eyes, and she understands. I bet the one you care for understands too, even if they can’t tell you.
Do you have other questions that you get tired of answering? People mean well, but they don’t understand that some things are best left unspoken. Do you have a good way of responding to intrusiveness? If so, I would love to hear about it.
DUMB THINGS PEOPLE SAY
Doesn’t the hair stand up on the back of your neck when someone says, ‘What do you do all day long now that you are staying home with your person?”
I know that you understand. Only a dependable caregiver, (dare I say ‘Service Person’?) can understand what it feels like to get asked these questions.
Ok, so we don’t get to run in the fields and chase rabbits (or whatever it is that service people chase).
Other dogs can bark and whine whenever they want, but if you are really on the job, you know that whining won’t get you anything, and so you stay quiet. It can be difficult, especially when everyone around us is having a good time and we are tied to our responsibilities, but it is part of proper training.
There are times when barking is called for, though. Barking gets attention in an emergency. Sometimes you have to speak up!
Other times people will look at me with a goofy expression on their faces and state something obvious. “What a good dog you are. Wouldn’t you rather shed your jacket and run and play with other dogs?” They don’t get it, do they? Of course, we get tired.
We would all like to take off our work clothes and run and play. We get to do that sometimes, but caregiving is our calling. Out of love, we stay by our person’s side all day and all night – that, and the hope of an occasional piece of kibble.
Woof? Don’t you get kibble?
Let me tell you about kibble. Sometimes it is offered to us. Plain and simple. But the best kibble is the little piece that I find when I am not looking for it. Life is so difficult without a bit of kibble now and then!
THE IMPORTANCE OF KIBBLE TO A CAREGIVER
When no one is looking, does temptation make you grab a treat from the counter? Treats motivate me to keep working. They give me energy, and I have heard trainers say they “reinforce proper behavior.”
I am not sure what that means, but I know I am much more willing to do difficult things if there is a treat at the end. I hope you still allow yourself occasional kibble. If you want to read more about getting motivated by kibble, click here.
My kibble tastes like lamb and oatmeal. What does yours taste like?
Of course, if my person left all the kibble on the countertop, I would want to scarf it all down immediately and make myself sick.
I have seen people do this with ice cream. Ice cream must taste better than kibble because I notice people have as hard a time as I do to resist eating every last bit of it.
Service dogs learn from the cradle not to bark unnecessarily, and to never, never grab kibble from the countertop.
I hear my person, Ardis, whenever she gets into her treat jar. Does the person you care for get into things he shouldn’t?
No one else knows our person the way we do, and if we close our eyes for a second, they get into trouble. It isn’t an easy job to keep an eye on someone 24/7.
I find this so tiring! What if they fall while we are sleeping? Or what if they get confused and wander away from the house?
I always go with Ardis when she leaves the house. She doesn’t get confused, but I don’t want to take the chance. What if she fell? I don’t have a cell phone, but I don’t need it. If I needed to call for help, I would bark until someone comes.
It’s probably best for you to use a cell phone.
DISCRIMINATION
Sometimes we meet people who are reluctant to have us in their place of business. It’s a form of discrimination. So many public places have so much to learn about us ‘caregivers’ and the people we care for.
They don’t understand we are trying to maintain a happy, ‘normal,’ and safe life for our people. Sometimes that comes with a bit of inconvenience.
I stand tall, wag my tail, and make no excuses for how we may distract others. I hope you don’t stay out of restaurants (or boats) because the person you care for can be distracting.
For the most part, with a bit of gentle teaching, owners of restaurants and other public places learn to be more comfortable.
THE IMPORTANCE OF RECOGNITION
When I was born, I didn’t know I would grow up to be a ‘caregiver,’ and I bet you didn’t either.
My entire life was training me to prepare for this, though. I grew up in prison with an inmate who taught me everything I need to know. You can read more about that if you click here.
Until I was called into service, I wore a blue jacket as a symbol that I was in training. When I was matched with Ardis, I ‘graduated’ to a red coat, which tells the world I am a World Class Service Dog. Do you know that after a lifetime of training, you also qualify as a World Class Service Person?
What is your symbol for the many years you were in training to be a caregiver?
I have an old red jacket I could fetch for you, but it probably wouldn’t fit. How about an exclusive shirt or hat? It’s so important to recognize and honor your calling and to let the world know –
You are the most fabulous caregiver ever.
You really are.
We dogs know these things!
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