Spiritual Growth

How to take a Personal Retreat

woman doing yoga in open field while on personal retreatDid you ever take a personal retreat…or wish you could? In the course of my life I have attended a number of retreats, most of which were sponsored by either a spiritual director, or an organization.

There was a time these retreats were my life blood. Not because of what I learned there, although I don’t discount that. It was more about feeding my soul, than my mind.

Once I was able to release all the everyday chatter and obligations of daily life I entered a holy space of silence and healing.

A place where even the chatty voices in my head seemed to understand the importance of being quiet.

I needed to draw apart with other like-minded folks and leave behind daily obligations, to-do lists, and everything digital, for no other reason than to listen to Mystery (my name for the divine).

I traveled coast to coast, as well as throughout the northeast to attend retreats led by incredible teachers and guides, to learn about spiritual and creative practices, and to grow. 

Then we were hit with the pandemic and all gatherings in public places ceased over night. This was the genesis of online retreats.

My body was protected from a deadly virus as I found a myriad of teachers and courses to feed my mind and heart.

I began a new way of social interaction and made many connections throughout the world that never could have happened in retreats ‘on location,’ but there is definitely something missing when you spend the day in front of a computer screen with the sights and sounds of your own home and family in the background. 

Why Retreat is Important

Why is it important to get away on retreat, even though circumstances change?

A retreat helps us get apart from all the noise in daily life, chatter from people around us, news, and the call of responsibilities that never end so that we can really hear what our next step in life might be.

Throughout the year, I am aware that I stuff major decisions deep in the back of my psyche lest they keep me from fully living each day.

I avoid thinking about repairing a relationship that suffered a misunderstanding.

I turn down the volume on inner voices that say I am not making the best choices for my life.

I procrastinate from soul building in favor of mind building. I eschew body-building in favor of junk food.

It feels as if the season of taking a retreat with others may have come to an end for me, if for no other reason than I am reticent to make the committment to travel.

That leaves me considering my options for a personal retreat.

The ‘why’ for me has never been in question. My soul is hungry for holy space. (One definition of holy is “set apart”). 

I need to find a space that offers stillness and silence, for that is where I am nourished the most.

How and Where to Retreat

The how is not too difficult as long as I don’t plan on going to Ireland, a place I have been and would return to in a heartbeat if I could be teleported there.

No, my personal retreat will be within a 1/2 day’s drive or less. I know this will not offer me a planned program with a spiritual dirctor, so that calls me to be creative as I listen to my heart (read: muse, spirit, God, Mystery).

It is impossible by definition to retreat and stay in the same spot, and so I have been pondering exactly where my next retreat will be.

It will be a personal retreat, that is, not in community with other pilgrims, not for a class in how to “Do” anything, and not anywhere where I have to travel a long way to get there.

This personal retreat will include at least one overnight because I don’t want to drive home in the evening.

Two or three may be better, as I know I take time to “let go” and just “be.” How do I do that?

Some things that allow this process are taking a leisurly walk—preferably in nature, taking a nap, and breathing meditation.

I will be careful about what things I bring with me because digital distractions are anethema to a retreat for the soul.

One interesting challenge is what I bring to read. Lately I have been reading exclusively on a Kindle because I can make everything large print and it is easier to hold than a book.

But it brings its own set of tempting distractions.

Too many books!!

I shall have to be intentional about downloading only 2-3 books for this retreat and leave the rest in the cloud.

Of course nothing prevents me from letting the cloud rain down on my retreat and drown me with tempatations.

I will put reading in the ‘spritual practice’ category and journal about my feelings as I deny myself even a small peek at the mystery story I started reading recently. Or not. A personal retreat allows for all aspects of oneself to be fed.

A ‘Spiritual Director’ for Retreat

If you decide to take a personal retreat, take a journal (or several) to serve as your primary spiritual director.

I find one of the best ways to do this is to only ask questions of whoever is listening in that moment.

It may be my muse calling me to creativity or Mystery calling me to prayer.

The answers may arrive from the universe or from deep within my soul. I shall not quibble over the source.

It is for me to only ask the questions: “Why am I here? What is being asked of me?  What are the reasons I resist? How can I find guidance? Where do I need to forgive?

The more questions I can write, the richer my retreat will be as I transcribe the responses that come to my heart.

Returning to my opening question: Did you ever take a personal retreat…or wish you could? What might that look like for you? This might be a good time to dream, and ponder, maybe even plan.

May you find exactly what your soul yearns for.


Want more food for thought?

Ardis Mayo