Aged to Perfection: Finding Freedom from the Perfectionism Trap
The Peculiar Poetry of Perfection
How many things in your life say “aged to perfection” on the label?
I can think of both wine and cheese that fit this category, but I have to ask: by whose definition of perfection?
Is it the flavor, texture, mouth feel? Is it perfect for your health? A perfect item for dessert? What do we mean when we say “perfect”?
Perfection must be in the eye of the beholder in the context of their life.
A sweater that is perfect for the ski lodge is not necessarily perfect for a wedding.
A Mustang convertible may be a perfect car… before you have three kids and a dog. And please, can you tell me the meaning of something being ‘perfectly easy’?
Chasing Air Bubbles
I have come to believe that defining perfect is like trying to capture air as it comes out of a balloon. Now that is perfect nonsense! Yet we persist in this elusive chase, don’t we?
Some definitions of perfect say it is something without a flaw. But here’s the truth: there is nothing that is without flaw except God.
In ancient Persia, weavers would always put a mismatched thread somewhere in the material they were weaving, lest they considered their work ‘perfect’.
They were the first to recognize that nothing is perfect except God. To intentionally weave in a flaw was an act of humility – and perhaps, a touch of divine wisdom.
The Perfect Life Myth
As we look at our personal meaning of perfection, it becomes clear that there really is no universal definition, and yet we continue to use it as a bar to judge performance, appearance, or the cake that just came out of the oven.
Hold your idea of perfection for a moment and ask yourself what it really means.
For me, it has become a meaningless standard, and so I no longer consider perfection as a criterion by which I measure anything… let alone my satisfaction and enjoyment of life.
A perfect life is no longer one defined by health, relationships, money, location, or appearance. A perfect life is one lived without attachment to any of these things.
Gray Hair, Don’t Care
Allow me to explain. If I have it in my mind that gray hair and wrinkles are negative signs of aging, I will look in the mirror and not see many indications of perfection.
On the other hand, if I see gray hair and wrinkles as signs of wisdom and maturity, then I see evidence of my becoming a woman who is respected for her sage advice and compassion.
Breaking Free from the Perfection Monster
When I say it’s our attachment to an idea of perfection that is the problem, I’m talking about the investment of time, energy, and emotions in something beyond what is needed.
I want my appearance to be appropriate, clean, and non-distracting. I want my blog posts to be the same.
When I can’t release what I have written into the internet, I know I am attached to perfection.
It can always be better. I could be clearer, I could use more personal examples, I could have triple-checked it for grammar mistakes.
The same holds true for any task I have before me. I can do the best I can for the moment, or I can do, and redo, and do again… and in the case of making supper, we would never get to eat!
An attachment to perfection is a monster that would keep me trapped in the dark and constantly looking for a way out.
This monster has no desire to see me publish what I write. It only wants to keep me safe… but from what?
Judgment and ridicule, mostly. I can slay this dragon by letting go of perfection as my standard.
Embracing “Good Enough”
Here’s the liberating truth I’ve discovered: when I replace perfection with “good enough,” a whole world of possibilities awaits.
It’s a world held in kindness and patience, where I find myself more accepting of others and, most importantly, more accepting of myself.
Think of it like a well-loved cookbook – its pages might be stained with sauce and dog-eared from use, but those “imperfections” tell the story of meals shared, lessons learned, and life well-lived. Isn’t that more perfect than a pristine, unused book sitting on a shelf?
The Perfect Conclusion (Just Kidding!)
As we age, perhaps the greatest wisdom we can embrace is that our “imperfections” – our wrinkles, our gray hairs, our lived-in homes, and our sometimes-messy relationships – are actually the perfect markers of a life fully embraced.
After all, a life without flaws would be like a story without conflict – perfectly boring!
So the next time someone says something is “aged to perfection,” maybe we can all smile knowingly and think, “Perfect for what? Perfect for whom? Perfect by whose standards?”
And in that questioning lies our freedom.
The Reflective Pen is a perfect way
to start every Sunday morning
