MANIFESTO

 HOW “TheReflectivePen” BEGAN  

The tale of why and how the blog began is a story of collective failures and successful adventures in both writing and technology in a search for meaning and purpose in the process of aging.  This Manifesto of TheReflectivePen is a statement of that purpose –  as I understand it today.

However, everything changes. Tomorrow my responses to the reader’s questions  – your questions –  will surely draw the writing into unknown places. 

Still, for this moment in time, the following words frame the big picture of TheReflectivePen. 

Who am I as Creator of the Manifesto of TheReflectivePen?

I was a curious child with a love of books who grew up to be a goat farmer, a hospice nurse, and a  minister.  Creating a blog (and the website to host it) was not on my radar until life took an unexpected u-turn.

When I found myself standing at the crossroads of an unchosen retirement, I looked into the distance and could see only mountains of challenges to climb. Sorrow seemed to be ever-present, and I saw that grief is like an ocean surrounding those hills.  (To hear this story in the voice of the author click HERE: Learning to Sit.)

Interspersed among the peaks of illness and aging, a summit offering new adventure emerged from the cloudy terrain of my future.

A several-year-long journey began as I traversed the wild landscape ahead. One crest I set out to conquer was Blogging  – the art of writing and publishing on the internet. This mountain emerged from a veritable jungle of new things to learn, like how to build a website and how to promote it so anyone can find it.  

I could not discern if the call to climb this mountain was an echo of my unfulfilled life as a writer, or if it was a beckoning into a new adventure and purpose I hadn’t dared dream.

 Either way, I stepped forward toward high blogging peaks like the proverbial bear. I had to see what was on the other side. 

The bear was right! 

Today I can state unequivocally – What I see is the other side of the mountain. And more mountains beyond that.

   Beliefs Behind
TheReflectivePen  

If you have ever gone on a great adventure, you can appreciate the importance of having a base camp of solid beliefs and values. Here then, are the beliefs from the manifesto that ground TheReflectivePen.

• All life has meaning and purpose and is meant to be lived fully until our last breath.  To live fully is not as dependent on economics, health, or age as it is on a mindset to embrace creativity as primary energy. TheReflectivePen is the fruit of creative energy released through words.

• Everything is Holy and is Mystery.  Our spirituality and all that is sacred exceeds definition and yet is found in ordinary, everyday events and things. Mystery!

• Things have a way of working out. Part of the Mystery of life is not knowing how problems are going to resolve, how lives can be rebuilt after tragedy, how to take the next step in a storm. But these events occur— and resolve with or without our intervention. They are not dependent on my understanding.

• Everything is impermanent. My successes and failures are soon histories. Impermanence removes the value of clinging and grasping, shows me the healing in self-forgiveness, and sets me free to live fully in each moment.

• Aging is an adventure that offers challenges, wisdom, and insight with which life can be lived “for the fun of it.”

From this basic framework of beliefs, TheReflectivePen has evolved into a weekly blog that discusses matters of interest to older readers through the lenses of spiritual or personal growth, overcoming challenges,  and creativity. 

A monthly post full of advice for everyday dilemmas comes from Dekker, a service dog with a gift for writing. 

Goals of
TheReflectivePen Manifesto

TO REFLECT ON THE ORDINARY

Although wisdom is abundant in the writings of essential people across the ages, everything vital can be found in the contemplation of the ordinary.

—A robin yanking worms out of the ground reminds me that the struggle to find nourishment is universal and the uncomfortable truth that for one creature to survive, another must be sacrificed. 

—A pile of dirty dishes on the counter leads me to reflect on gratitude, which is not limited to the food evidenced by a dirty plate but includes the sacrifices of thousands of people who had a hand in providing it. I bow before a sink of soapy water with thanksgiving. 

—Holes in socks and the taste of chocolate lingering on my tongue each have a story of a life well-lived, and wisdom for a continuing journey. 

Reflecting on everyday observations and sensations is the path of TheReflectivePen, and the goal is to explore the Divine in ordinary life, especially the last half of it.

TO CONFRONT CHALLENGES OF AGING

Aging has often been a realm of negativity and despair that, at least in our society, has consumed billions of dollars in the attempted eradication or cover-up of its existence through surgery, make-up, fashion, and supplements. 

It is little wonder that after a lifetime of hiding wrinkles, extra tires around the middle, and wearing hip huggers, we wake up one day to realize these things don’t run very deep. 

The challenge of aging happens from the moment we are born. It is relentless. Sooner or later, we must acknowledge its presence. 

How we meet this challenge is an unanswered question.

This author believes that we can meet aging with the same excitement as exploring a foreign city or climbing Mt. Everest. 

It doesn’t require advance reservations except for a few accommodations along the way. 

If we plan to go forward into old age, it may be good to have a native guide to carry some of our excess baggage and a pair of binoculars to keep everything in focus. 

Otherwise, it only demands healthy curiosity about what is lying around the next bend and a willingness to learn new languages and adapt to changing foods. 

And perhaps some mobility assistance from a llama.

TO INSPIRE CREATIVITY

As we age, we don’t often think about creating like we did when we were young — when making a career, family and lifestyle was the primary focus. 

Having time to create with paint, or trowel, or with the pen seems extravagant unless we are among the fortunate few who discovered early how to make creativity an integral part of daily life. 

By the time we reach sixty-five, if we haven’t had the luxury of time and space and material to play like a 5-year-old in a sandbox, we may have forgotten how. 

TheReflectivePen hopes to inspire a return to the sandbox of possibilities.

The idea that there is a door closing as we grow older needs challenging. This door is opening wider as we become less burdened by society’s expectations to overschedule, produce, and support ideologies we don’t necessarily believe. 

The freedom in retirement is different from the freedoms we quested after from our youth —the freedom to choose, the freedom to drink, make our own decisions, decide where and how we are going to live, and who we will live with. 

The freedoms of old age include wearing purple – or going braless, or sleeping late, or taking time to wander forest paths and write poetry.

TO DISCOVER NEW PATHS

If we have lived long enough, each one of us has a litany of wounds and scars from a lifetime of stumbling in the dark, from bumping into controversial personalities, from poor choices, and abuse at the hands of others. 

We carry these scars and wounds without the honor of a badge or Purple Heart, hoping to rise above the pain and sorrow to find meaning in our lives. 

TheReflectivePen seeks to discover new paths and be gentle guidance for others on the journey leading through a jungle of ideas and possibilities that may not have been available in earlier years.

TO EXAMINE RELATIONSHIPS WITH ORGANIZED RELIGION AND THE DIVINE.

By the time we reach our seventh decade, or beyond, we have become pretty good mountain climbers. 

We have weathered avalanches of unexpected difficulties, droughts of finances, and stormy relationships. 

Some or all of these events may leave us weary and anxious about what might lie ahead, especially as our capacity to captain our ship comes into question. 

We didn’t think much about setting out on high seas for adventure and discovery in our youth, but then the journey was often one of trial and error. 

Our spiritual growth may or may not have been an intentional goal and often included some connection with an organized religion of our family’s tradition. 

Then comes a day in which dogma becomes unpalatable, or we are wounded by how it was enacted, and we pull back. 

Commonly this is followed by a season, either short or long, (or permanent) of avoiding religious services and disconnecting with congregations that were once like family. 

Or the exact opposite may occur. Someone who never went to religious services as a youth reaches out and finds what they are looking for in a local congregation. Not often—but it happens. 

TheReflectivePen looks at this journey back and forth to the places that feed our understanding and relationship with the Divine. 

What are the things that feed a hungry soul after the age of 65 or 70? 

How do we grow, and how do we allow ourselves to wither? 

Where are the wells we can go to slake our thirst for inner growth? What do ordinary things and events in our lives have to teach us? 

TO ASK DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABOUT DEATH AND DYING

When it comes to death and dying, we often have a visceral response as we pull back from the most certain of life events. 

There is an entire lexicon we employ to stay safely distanced from what we don’t want to talk about. 

Bucket lists and rainbow bridges are part of the euphemistic infrastructure used to replace Final Wishes and Death. 

The process of writing a will or assigning a medical power of attorney often waits until we get a glimpse of a chariot coming our way. 

And a decision to wait until the last few days to call for hospice care leaves us stranded along a path on which there could have been many options. 

TheReflectivePen steps boldly into the arena of death and explores the fears and defense mechanisms we use to feel safe from the unknown, and discusses alternatives to traditional approaches to end-of-life issues.

TO START CONVERSATIONS  

One person’s truth arises from a singular perspective before being explored in context with truths of other minds, cultures, religions, and ideologies. 

TheReflectivePen offers ideas that may challenge these truths. 

Reflection, after all, is an effect of light illuminating an object or idea. It can’t happen in the dark. 

Through conversation, light enters the cracks of our’ truths,’ and we are free to discard or embrace new ways of looking at things. 

Conversations may occur through comments on the blog, or they may continue as readers share insights and opinions with friends. 

The goal is similar to that of a painter who uses line and color to depict a tree as she sees it. 

Someday when visitors to an art museum stand before her piece of abstract art, each sees according to their schema. 

The truth for the artist is no less ‘true’ than it is for the observer who sees not a towering birch but a tall giraffe. 

It is out of the conversation that follows that minds and hearts are opened and changed. 

TO EXPLORE PATHS TO HEALING

One reality of living a full and long life is that sometimes we are limited by an unwelcome visitor  whose name is ‘Illness’. 

Illness arrives with a whole family in tow whose names are Anxiety, Financial Loss, Pain, and Fear. 

They carry enough baggage to stay quite a while. How do we make changes to accommodate these demanding guests? 

They seldom make reservations, and we have no idea how long they plan to stay. Although we may feel eviction is the course to take, the reality is that some of these visitors have no plans to depart. 

When that happens, healing is not so much about eviction as it is about accommodation and learning how to be hospitable. 

Distinguishing between ‘cure’ and ‘healing’ becomes one path to maximizing health and moving forward across life’s varied landscape. 

Another approach is redesigning the guest house, putting space for demanding visitors towards the back and providing superior accommodations for the guest named Health whom we may have ignored in earlier years. 

Health brings a family too, whose names are Creativity, Wisdom, and Patience. 

TheReflectivePen explores the path to a full and meaningful life full of unexpected guests in this house.

TO OFFER SEEDS FOR REFLECTION  

Sometimes a little idea will take root in our lives, and from the DNA within that idea, an entire garden of fruitful thinking may flourish. 

One of the dangers of aging is lying fallow like a harvested field. 

A season of rest is good for the land, but if it is never replanted, it never realizes its purpose, it never produces fruit, it never impacts the world. 

It quickly gets overcome by invasive species of weeds and eventually becomes useless. 

When that happens in our lives, we wake up one day with thoughts like, “Is this all there is?” and we lament as life begins to fold around survival instead of growth. 

TheReflectivePen’s passion is to offer tiny ideas like seeds to replant imaginations. And to create a place for readers to get their metaphorical hands dirty, cultivating their gardens of thought through conversation and writing.

TO CHALLENGE FIXED MINDSETS

“I’ve always done it that way” – the seven last words of a dying spiritual life. 

One definition of death is ‘no more change,’ and one stereotype TheReflectivePen challenges is having a fixed mindset, which tends to get rigid in our thinking as we grow older. 

Ideas and reflections are offered not as truths to adopt without consideration but as perspectives to consider, thoughts to chew on, and encouragement to move towards having an open mind and heart. 

Having a growth mindset allows for seeds of reflection to take root and eventually produce exotic fruit. 

TO BRING A MESSAGE OF HOPE AND POSSIBILITY

The ultimate purpose of TheReflectivePen is to sow seeds of hope and possibility for living life to its fullest until the last drop has been savored or poured out. 

Using wit and wisdom in a cocktail of ideas, perspectives, and suggestions, the articles explore what it means to grow old.  How to keep dancing when the music of life constantly changes its rhythm. And how to remain flexible in spirit and mind as the body begins to stiffen with age. 

The writing seeks to stimulate thoughts and conversation around ordinary things and events to promote the collective wisdom of all readers. 

And finally, TheReflectivePen shall be a legacy to all people who find aging to be an inconvenient mountain that offers excellent adventure.

CONCLUSION of TheReflectivePen Manifesto 

In summary, TheReflectivePen reaches into the following areas – ponders each from different perspectives and invites conversation with other thinkers to:

•   reflect on the ordinary
•   confront challenges of aging
•  inspire creativity
•  discover new paths
•   examine relationships with organized religion and the Divine
•   ask difficult questions about death and dying
•   start conversations
•   explore paths to healing
•   offer seeds for reflection.  
•   challenge fixed mindsets
•   bring a message of hope and possibility

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