3 SIMPLE WAYS TO MANAGE STRESS
COMMON RESPONSES TO STRESS
Have you ever experienced a stressful event that left you completely stunned and unable to think or make a decision? Psychologists call this a ‘freeze’ response.
Alternatively, you may have run away instead of confronting a situation? A ‘flee’ response. I did that once when my kids were in elementary school.
The stress of trying to complete my education as a single mom while grieving the death of my father triggered a hasty move.
I picked up and moved my kids and myself from our cozy country home to a small apartment near the school I wanted to attend 25 miles away.
In one year, I moved my little family two more times before finally waking up to return to the serenity of rural life with goats, chickens, and a woodstove. I thought I was looking for something when, in reality, I had been running away.
Stress can trigger anything from an expression of frustration and anger (a ‘fight’ response) to these ‘flee or freeze’ responses in us.
And it doesn’t have to be a big event. A health crisis, getting lost with no map, or a case of acne before a public speech all challenge our biology.
WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
‘BIG’ AND ‘SMALL’ STRESS?
Big or small, stress releases all kinds of nasty chemicals in our bodies. These chemicals often cause us to react with illness.
When a good friend announced her husband’s cancer diagnosis and their bank was foreclosing on their home, the challenges altered her life.
She developed insomnia, lost weight, and experienced an autoimmune disease.
Recently I stood on the bathroom scale and realized I needed to stop eating potato chips.
I, too, faced a life altering challenge – the stress of carrying extra weight left me depressed, sleepless, and in pain.
Yet, some challenges trigger happy hormones instead.
Finishing a 10k race, planning a European holiday, or buying a new home bring joy, but our bodies can’t tell the difference between positive and negative stressors.
They create the same biochemical response, which can have very similar results.
I rank challenges by the degree of difficulty, or cost, in one column and their value to me in the other. My body doesn’t give a hoot. Stress is stress.
IS STRESS GOOD OR BAD?
I love the challenge of trying out new recipes or learning a new skill. Some people are thrilled to run a triathlon or climb Mt. Everest.
Most historic discoveries happened because someone took on the challenges – and stress – of exploration and experimentation.
The challenge of staying healthy while aging could fit in either column, depending on your perspective. Going to the gym is a lot more fun than going to dialysis.
Learning to walk at two years old is a lot more adventurous than learning to walk after a stroke. Perspective!
If the challenge is to our creativity or athleticism, bring it on! But if the challenge is to our health or relationship, we are not so enthusiastic.
I have a friend, Dave, in his late eighties who loves to ski. One of his favorite challenges is taking on the mountain after a new layer of powdery snow.
This year he put his skis away and has decided to stick with playing bridge instead.
Dave’s thirst for adventure is just as great. His body has changed, and he could see the risks from the perspective of an octogenarian.
Whether a challenge is good or bad is more about one’s perspective than about the mountain itself, for the mountain doesn’t change.
We do.
For me, the idea of racing down a hill of any size at my age is akin to sword-swallowing.
IS THERE A BENEFIT TO EMBRACING CHALLENGES?
Why do we humans take on challenges voluntarily? What is the benefit of allowing stress in our lives?
If I take on the challenge of losing weight, I get a healthier body, my self-esteem grows, and I get to wear new clothes—all good results.
But these things come with great struggle to follow a diet or go for a walk. I would rather read a book instead.
Let’s not dismiss how crabby I get when the ‘mountain’ I’m climbing has rockslides and hailstorms.
I climbed a tall mountain (Mt. Katahdin, in Maine) when I was 12 years old.
As I reached a plateau above the tree line with my father, uncle, and cousin, the hail began to pelt us without mercy.
Without the trees for shelter, we managed to take cover beneath a large boulder and wait out the storm. It was one of my great lessons in life.
My young pre-adolescent self wanted to plunge ahead, hail and ice be dammed.
How many mountains have I climbed in the last seven decades with that attitude?
I admit I haven’t made it to the top of many. I try to push through, and end up cold, wet, and – in the case of my battle with the bathroom scale – fat.
So, is there a better way to take on anything that is inherently stressful?
3 SIMPLE APPROACHES TO SURVIVE A STRESSFUL EVENT
First, ask – “Is my life really in danger? Am I about to be eaten by a lion?”
If the answer is no, take a big breath. No, make that three big breaths.
Next comes tiny bites. Literally in the case of losing weight, but figuratively when there is an elephant to eat, the only way is to eat it one bite at a time.
That may mean building a new habit of moderation.
And my third piece of wisdom is SLOW.
Stressful things are part of life’s ethos, and if we rush through everything, we accumulate more stress than if we slow down and inhale.
BREATHE
TAKE LIFE ONE TINY BITE AT A TIME
GO SLOW
This is my recipe for climbing a mountain, getting through a divorce, recovering from a serious illness, or painting the house a color no one likes but me.
Stressful events happen when we least expect them. You may enjoy a true short story from my youth where I first learned about stress firs-hand. Check it out here. “WHAT TO DO WHEN TERROR STRIKES”.
LOOKING FOR MORE HELP?
I encourage you to check out GILLIAN PADGETT. She has written several books about stress and does online coaching.
She generously offers a FREE HALF-HOUR DISCOVERY SESSION to plan for change: from feeling stressed, to relaxed, calm and happy; from overwhelm or burnout, to able to cope with challenges with clarity, confidence and ease. “Be gentle with yourself is Gillian’s mantra “It’s so important to be kind and gentle with ourselves – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Then change can happen.”–Gillian Padgett.
(I am not an affiliate. I happen to know and respect the work Gillian does.)
(Photo Credits from Unsplash: Dog by Karsten Winegeart; Guitar by Ali Yahya; Girl chewing pencil by Jeshoots; Scale by Samuel Ramos; Man under post-its by Luis- Vllasmilman;
Toddler by Fernanda Greppe; Girl under books by Lacie Slezak;
