How to find the magic of ‘we’ in a relationship or community
What is the magic of ‘we?’
Do you know about the magic of we? As a lifelong introvert, it has only been in recent years that I have come to fully experience the mystical nature of ‘we’.
Since the beginning of time, we humans have been searching for ways to connect with one another. We long to feel a part of something larger than ourselves and to experience the magic that comes from being in relationship or community. Yes, even for us introverts. Maybe even more so!
This desire leads us to join religious groups or participate in a political movement, a hobby or interest group. I have been part of all of these with mixed results.
No matter how we find it, the magic of ‘we’ is undeniable. When my sons were born, I felt something I had never known before.
It was the kind of unexplainable joy that comes from the simplest things: a smile, a giggle, a touch. This magic is what makes life worth living. It is the magic of ‘we.’
Begin with the magic of ‘me.’
In today’s society, we are constantly bombarded with messages that tell us we are not good enough. We are not thin enough, rich enough, or popular enough.
These messages can be demoralizing and leave us feeling inadequate. But what if there was another way to look at ourselves?
What if we could see ourselves as the powerful and magical beings that we truly are?
We all have a bit of magic inside of us. I may be able to whistle a tune…a little. You may be an artist with spices and soups. A third may have a smile that brings healing. And yet another knows how to listen.
And the alchemy that happens when all are together in the same room…even a zoom room, results in an energy that has the power to change the world.
I am not thinking about eliminating global climate change or world war. I am talking about the tiny sphere that we as individuals live in.
The space and time of the present moment. When your magic and my magic come together that sphere becomes charged with new life and possibilities.
Like tiny atoms in a large galaxy, we are all part of an infinite web of existence. We are connected by the energy that flows through us and around us. We are all one with the universe.
And the magic of life is in the connections we make.
How does being part of a ‘we’ affect our souls?
Connections with others is the way we connect with our deeper selves.
I lean towards being a hermit and a mystic. I can be happily content to read and pray and consider divine mysteries for days on end. However, I am limited to what I see and hear in my tiny world.
I need your eyes and your understanding to appreciate a larger picture.
I need your flavors and your melodies.
I need your forgiveness and your gratitude.
I need your love.
What you bring to my life is magic. I could write books on forgiveness or generosity or love but they would be empty apart from being part of a ‘we’ that gives me the opportunity to practice them.
We can use our ‘we’ magic to do great things. It is the glue that holds relationships together. ‘We’ is the bridge that connects two people, and it is the light that guides them through life’s darkness.
Magic happens with every ‘we.’
Have you noticed that in any group of people, there is a natural order? Those who lead and those who follow. There are those who are outspoken and those who are shy. There are those who are confident and those who are insecure.
But when there is a ‘we’ this natural order disappears.
When we surrender our rigid independence in order to really listen, share and wonder together we become one entity, with one goal.
We become magical.
‘We’ makes the world a wonderful place. Do you remember having a best friend as a child? Or the loneliness of not having a ‘we’?
From an early age, we search for ways to belong and feel like we matter. We need to feel like we’re a part of something bigger than ourselves. This is what makes the magic of “we” so special.
Where to find a ‘we’ as we age
Throughout life, we have friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors. There may be scouts, clubs, military service, or mission circles.
However, as we age we lose a lot of our connections. People retire, move away, or get buried. What then?
I have found one of the greatest gifts of the pandemic is a growing comfort level in using Zoom.
In my life, a weekly ‘sistah suppuh’ that has been together every Thursday evening for years continues, despite Covid, with its usual laughter and encouragement—all on Zoom. (One benefit…everyone brings their own supper.)
There are an infinite number of classes on everything from how to write to singing together (online), or starting a new business.
Out of the classes emerges a magic that happens when several people continue meeting in small groups or breakout rooms. The magic of ‘we’ in cyberspace!
This coming together as a group and forming a bond creates something extraordinary.
It’s what makes us human. How many of us can say that we truly feel like we belong? How many of us feel like we’re a part of something bigger than ourselves?
The magic of ‘we’ can make that happen.
Have you experienced a special ‘we’ in your life? Leave a comment below to share the magic.
[Photo credits from Unsplash: magician-by-artem-maltsev; woman in mirror by laurenz-kleinheider; atoms-by-ricardo-gomez; eyes-by-sharon-mccutcheon; campfire-by-mike-erskine; zoom-class-by-charlesdeluvio]
Join a growing group of readers of
TheReflectivePen!
Ellen
Absolutely!!! Connecting with you back in 2020 and creating a weekly bond over Zoom makes my life so much better!
Ardis Mayo
Yes, Ellen…the pandemic has brought a whole new way of being “we” and I don’t see us going back so it will be interesting how all the ‘we’s” will continue to grow. Including us.
Lyn G. Brakeman
Yes the WE is the only way to BE. And does not God express that divine desire for WE when God creates every living thing and invites us into WE. Jesus the Christ dies for the wake of WEness. Let US save this Earth together.
Ardis Mayo
Absolutely, Lyn. why are we so slow to acknowledge our interdependency on all creation?
Rev Anneli Sinkko
According to the Hebrew Bible the word nephesh [human being] is more than it says; it means people who are a community – who exists as a community – we are created to be ‘we’/ Therefore no matter what our genetic makeup – we need to belong in order to be fully human. During the pandemic this became evident when we discovered how hard it is to exists and function – not to mention to be happy – when we were isolated; when we couldn’t touch others or hug or kiss. We were lost.
I hoped that pandemic would bring us out as better people, more grownup society. Unfortunately that has not happened but the aftermath has been very discouraging. Our world seem to be in a mess – but that is another subject.
Ardis Mayo
Thank you for your reflections. Our world is in a mess indeed, and I can only speak for myself, but I have found the pandemic to be a great instrument of personal growth. We have lived long enough to witness incredible change and I can only imagine where it will lead. I for one must be connected to you, to my loved ones, to my community, to all of the readers of TheReflectivePen.
Sue
So well said and so much covered, including losing our we’s to death. IMHO, and for multiple reasons, it appears that we’s r harder to form, the older we get. Many people in their older years appear to have all the we’s they need. For me, the pandemic life has not been different from the last 9 years, after an illness left me without the ability to use antibiotics. “Don’t get sick or u may die.” became a central focus of my life, per order of two IDS docs, resulting in 9 yrs of isolation. Yet all medical research says that this kind of isolation leads to chronic illness and shorter life spans.. Maybe future mask wearing will change that, although “sticking out like a sore thumb” as the sole mask wearer doesn’t appear conducive to people coming closer. Zoom brought huge changes to my 9+ yrs isolation. I made face to face zoom connections, but they don’t seem to cross over into phone calls, emails and everyday life, or further zoom calls. Then there is “zoom burn out”. Yes, its a thing. Balance is important, and my personal life went from zero people in house, to allowing many strangers and my entire health care team into my home! Maybe we r all seeking balance, integration and finding ourselves in our return to “normalcy”.
As I finish another overly long and thoughtful response to your blog, I hear and now see a large Tom turkey crossing my yard, seeking a ” we”, or 2, or 4 or 10! He’s not thinking; he’s taking action! I aspire to be more like this turkey!
Ardis Mayo
Thank you, Sue, for your reflection. And I support you in your lofty aspirations!
Bonnie keast
We vs me. In many cultures, we is the only way of thinking and acting. Somehow, our culture has generally gotten away from that. Thank you for highlighting the importance of WE.
Ardis Mayo
You are welcome, Bonnie. I just noticed that ‘WE’ is the beginning of ‘WElcome’. Now to remember that!