What is the Imposter Syndrome?
When I think of imposter syndrome I remember what it was like when I got my first ‘real’ job in a research laboratory.
As a biology major, I had dreams of a career in science and I was thrilled to get this job.
After all, I had dropped out of college after two years to get married, moved to the Boston area, and begun my new life as an adult.
I suddenly found myself riding a train to work, mingling with laborers as well as CEOs all heading to their ‘real life’.
My new life was just beginning as a laboratory assistant on a team searching for a cure for cancer.
Wow! White coat and a key to the lab. I had arrived!
Each day I stood next to a man with a PhD and another with a master’s degree. We were all doing the same thing, day in and day out.
The tedium of treating sick mice, weighing and measuring them, and cleaning their cages was replaced with an identity as a real researcher doing important work to heal the world.
At the end of the day, however, I took off my now filthy white coat, looked in the mirror, and saw the reality of someone not yet old enough to make a toast legally and I knew I was no Albert Schweitzer.
Who was I fooling?!
Imposter syndrom is like that. One moment you are doing what you do…teaching a class, playing the clarinet, writing your memoir, or creating art, and a voice in the back of your head pipes up “Who do you think you are? You are not a (writer, musician, artist or master of anything).”
Causes of the Imposter Syndrome
One of the reasons we often feel imposter syndrome is we live with a certain set of expectations. We have an imaginary picture of what a ‘real’ master of anything does and our usual image of that is perfection.
We subconsciously compare our writing self to Hemingway, our musical self to Bach, and our artistic self to Picasso.
Well, duh!
Of course, we are going to feel like an imposter. What is wrong with acknowledging that what we are doing is ‘good enough?’
I was reading an excerpt from someone’s writing that was posted on Facebook a few days ago and immediately I felt envy for her gift with words.
I felt the desire to write with that clarity, and I felt shame in my own attempts to use words to express myself.
Why couldn’t I be like her? I am just an imposter, I told myself.
A wannabe.
A failure.
Later that same day I received the kindest email from a stranger who had been reading a blog post I recently published and she said “You said exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much!”
My feeling like an imposter stemmed from an inability to see what I write as being ‘good enough,’ and yearning instead to be like someone else.
What leads to self-doubt?
So why do I doubt myself so much? I can trace self-doubt to a sneaky perfection gremlin — an unattainable ideal that doesn’t exist in reality.
When my mind is set on being perfect, nothing I do will measure up, so the reason must be that I am pretending to be someone I am not.
And then I worry how long it will be before someone questions me and my cover will be blown!
Coping with the Imposter Syndrome:
How can we overcome these doubts?
The simple answer to coping with imposter syndrome is in changing our mindset. Instead of perfection I can choose to set my sights on ‘good enough.”
Sounds simple enough, but tell someone who has been raised with an ethic of perfection and they will laugh in your face.
“What do you mean, don’t strive for perfection? I have been taught that is a virtue right up there with ‘don’t kill’ my whole life. I am sure it is written in the Bible somewhere.”
With a mindset shift from ‘perfect’ to ‘good enough’ an imposter syndrome has no ground to stand on. The inner voice that harps at me saying ‘Who do you think you are?’ is silenced when I respond “I am Me, and I am a good enough_______(fill in the blank).
This doesn’t mean that I set my goals any lower or that I don’t work as hard to reach them. It means only that I no longer whip myself with the chains of perfection. I am set free to grow and stumble and get up and continue on my journey in life.
Without an imposter syndrome taunting me, my self-confidence grows and my capacity to accomplish whatever it is that is set before me surpasses what I dreamed of doing when I started out.
And in my book, that is good enough!
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