The Death of To-Do Lists: Are Your Goals Killing Your Soul?
Are your goals a source of unrest? Are to-do lists killing your soul even as you check little boxes and measure your steps, pounds, or bank balance?
The Tyranny of Metrics and Checkboxes
Like many, I’ve created goals with multiple tasks everywhere: shopping lists, errands to run, letters to write, and wish lists for Black Friday.
My phone dutifully counts my steps as I wander through stores and neighborhoods, while I obsess over meeting daily targets.
I track the fruits and vegetables I need to maintain my health goals, and in my writing world, I chase word counts.
Yet most of my aspirational goals remain just that – aspirations.
The funny thing about all these tasks is that none particularly relate to my deeper goals — my heart goals. Sure, they’re quantifiable, measurable, and easily adjusted.
As I age, I understand Ecclesiastes’ echo: “Vanity of vanities – all is vanity.”
Beyond Metrics: The Search for Wholeness
When goals focus solely on steps to succeed, something feels amiss. What about the stumbling steps, the procrastinating steps, or moments of pure joy?
If my life were a ball, missing these parts of wholeness, it would be only half a ball. It wouldn’t bounce!
This realization led me to rewrite my goals.
Now, I review them every morning and evening, adding some while releasing others. My new goals are qualitatively different – they can’t be counted, measured, or filed alphabetically.
Heart Goals: Living Fully in the Present
Today, my primary goal is to live fully, moment by moment. This means being present to both beauty and sorrow, accepting failures alongside successes.
My second goal – loving others unconditionally – seems almost achievable until I attempt to practice it.
The divine gift of unconditional Love receives me “just as I am” and I know how it feels to receive such love. I want to extend that to everyone I meet.
Yet my ability to be kind and generous fluctuates with external factors – sleep quality, life pressures, or the mundane demands of deadlines and laundry.
I struggle to be fully present when overwhelmed, especially with those I find challenging.
Three Aspects of Spiritual Growth
Three anchors that help me hold steady as a channel of Love in any storm:
1. Roots and Branches: How did I get here? Where did I spring from?
I know my roots are deep, but I seldom consider exactly how deep! I am descended from more than my parents and great grandparents.
Humanity has been around for thousands of years and some of that humanity is in my bloodstream. I can call on that love and strength.
I want to flex my branches as I reach out to others and allow my roots to anchor me.
I watch the tree outside my window and see that the branches go in every direction and vary in their number and color of leaves, yet retain enough individual characteristics to be identified as a particular variety.
My goal is not to become like every other ‘tree’ in the forest but to acknowledge that my health and growth depend on the roots of all of them mingled with and communicating with mine.
I want to bloom with the seasons and accept the dropping of leaves with as much grace as that red maple does.
May I always remember that my nourishment comes from the whole earth and that I am not an ‘individual’ in the way I had always thought.
2. Calling and Purpose: What is my reason for living?
I am called not only to remember my roots and branches but to surrender them to a greater purpose of bringing shade, nesting area, and nourishment to the world around me.
I maintain several journals to help me listen to the voice of Mystery that guides me beyond mere bucket lists.
My calling keeps me from chasing every shiny object that crosses my path…and I confess my challenge is to not pursue them at the cost of leaving the path I am on.
3. Embracing Mortality: Each day, I acknowledge one simple truth: “I will die.”
Ironically, as I explore my heart goals, I’m consistently led back to death as I seek to live fully!
This awareness isn’t morbid – it’s liberating.
I don’t have time to chase everything that seems important or necessary.
Once I realized that tasks are infinite and time is finite, my entire approach to what is important changed abruptly.
Finding Wisdom in the Past
I’ve learned to listen to the dead – not in a metaphysical sense, but through their written words.
I immerse myself in sacred writings from before Jesus, in the Psalms, Isaiah, and the Stoics.
I nourish my soul with Rilke, Rumi, and Mary Oliver.
Unlike the constant buzz of news and social media, which feels like processed food, these timeless voices offer genuine sustenance.
A New Way Forward
Word counts and weight loss goals can become cages restricting our focus and hearts.
True fulfillment comes from pursuing deeper, more meaningful aspirations.
What are your heart goals? How are you moving beyond checkboxes and metrics to find deeper meaning?
If this resonated with you, subscribe for more reflections on mindful living, spiritual growth, and finding purpose beyond productivity.
Tell us where to send your weekly articles
from TheReflectivePen
