Spiritual Growth

3 WAYS TO FIND JOY IN THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE

sunset over water As surely as the sun sets and rises again the next day, we will have times when things are not going our way. Ordinary life is a constant fluctuation of highs and lows. The question is always before us – How do we find joy in the little things in life.

While many of us spend most of our time in a relatively mundane state with even emotions, there are times when we have peaks of exhilaration followed by valleys where nothing is going right. 

Why is it that people seldom seek information on how to deal with the good times?

But when it comes to handling the lows, we visit libraries, bookstores, and bars, or we google for ideas on how to get through them.

I think we can agree that living in the age of a pandemic is one of those low times. 

The challenges that the pandemic has brought us are enough for us to utter a collective cry of “Uncle.”

Enough already!

Death, isolation, fear, uncertainty, and grief can strip away joy and even lead to depression.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and imagine I am not alone.

The thing is, we cannot control what goes on outside of our door as much as we would like to.

I can’t stop a virus any more than I can stop the rain. It is when I think I ought to have power over such things that I hit a wall in defeat. 

However, there is one area where I do have control, and that is the power to maintain a positive mindset.

Not always easy, I agree. But in giving this some reflection, I have come up with three choices that help me keep a positive attitude.

1. To find joy in the little things I can surround myself with positive thinking people.


happy child wearing a parkaI have heard it said that we are the sum total of the five people we surround ourselves with most often.

Because pandemic lockdowns limit the number of people we can see right now, I add pets to that list. 

My point is, if we are living without support, a soft place to lean, fresh eyes to see what we can’t, it can be tough to hold on to our joy.

When we go through difficult times, it is easy to retreat into the solitude of our home and pull the cover over our heads with only our thoughts as our ‘entertainment.’ 

I speak as someone who treasures the sacred space of solitude. But there is a big difference between living in solitude, and isolating.

Occasionally isolation has a purpose, as during illness, but when we pull back from social support for an extended period, our joy can leak, leaving us empty and lonely.

When we can no longer find joy in the journey, reaching out to others may save our lives. And with today’s technology, this is so eminently doable. Facetime and zoom calls couldn’t have happened at a better time

2. Remember that everything is impermanent

Nothing in life is permanent. We have the changing seasons to remind us of that! The challenge of finding joy arises when we are in the midst of great difficulty.

We forget this truth – “THIS TOO SHALL PASS.”  

Keeping these words foremost in our minds keeps us from focusing on the mess we are standing in at this moment.  

There was a period in my life where everything seemed to crash to a halt at one time.

My health tanked. My finances disappeared, and my cat died.

Simultaneously.

shadows of a standing manI could not see a way forward. Or sidewards. Or even backward. 

I spent long days in a recliner, with newspapers piling up at my feet because I could not read them.

It was a very dark time. I stared a lot. Mostly at the opposite wall. I didn’t find much joy.

When my eyes did focus, it was on a religious symbol left by the previous occupant of the home I had just moved into. 

One day as I gazed at the far wall, the words I learned as a child began to crawl through my brain like an earworm — “though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”

Shadow? What causes shadows if it isn’t LIGHT?

This moment was an epiphany moment if there ever was one.

You can’t have a shadow without Light! As I dwelled on the ramifications of this, I knew things were going to change. 

“This too shall pass” became my mantra. 

I know from experience how great losses take a toll, and joy slips away like an ice cube on a warm surface.

I had allowed my happiness to depend on things over which I had no control.

My health. My job. An old cat.

The more I thought about the cause of shadows, the more I began to smile. From deep down inside.

Joy doesn’t come from outside circumstances. It comes from within.  

And this leads me to my third point.

3. Look on the Inside to Find Joy  

Life is so much less about what happens to us than it is about how we react to it. And how we react is a function of our mindset. We can’t change the rain or the stock market. 

But I can do something about how I think about them. It takes courage and practice and more explanation than there is room for here. But a positive mindset is the secret to having joy.

a rollercoasterDepending on finding joy coming from the world around us is like a rollercoaster at the fair.

A thrill of highs when things are going well, followed by terrible lows as we come crashing back to earth when things go wrong. 

These ups and downs become emotionally exhausting. Wild swings are  hard work.

Stable, consistent, sustainable happiness can only be created and found within.

I think of joy more as the motor driving the rollercoaster than I do the track. It is the power that lies in the core of our lives.

And that is why books on personal growth, inner peace, and positive mindset sell millions of copies.

They are some help, of course. But in the end, our happiness doesn’t come from books.

It comes from knowing that there is Light that is eternal and is shining. Somewhere.

When we have the patience to let our life turn on its axis, Joy will arrive like the dawn.   

Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5

 

[Photo Credits by Unsplash: Sunset by Rachel-Cook;


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Ardis Mayo

  • Peggy Day

    This is a great article Ardis. I have the saying, ” this too shall pass” as a mantra right now. It is a slow pace and long walk, but I am getting there one day at a time, one moment at a time.

    Thanks for the reminder.

    Peggy

    • Ardis Mayo

      Thank you Peggy. Yes, that old rollercoaster must have the downs in order to have the ups. May your ride change directions in its own good time.

  • Amanda Brabant

    Such a great reminder that, although we can’t always control our circumstances, we are in control of our perceptions and reactions. Thank you for that, Ardis! Sending you joy and peace…

    • Ardis Mayo

      Thank you, Amanda. I shall continue to pass your blessings through writing, encouraged by all those who comment.

  • Nancy Emanuel

    Thanks for a wonderful start to my Valentine’s Day Ardis! Love your stuff!

  • Francisca

    A meaningful blog post, Ardis, and we are on the same page.

    Joy—feeling it and spreading it—is important to me. It’s why I’ve added it right into my consultancy/coaching business name.

    Not many pair joy and business, but I think *not* having an eye on joy in business is an invitation to burn-out. Looking at work apart from our “personal” lives is a mistake, because don’t we ultimarely have just one life that consists of 24-hour days? And don’t we want ALL those 24-hours to be joyful?

    Naturally, life is a roller coaster ride, with lots of ups and downs. It takes inner strength to have joy in your heart throughout that ride. And I agree, in my worst times, I’ve drawn strength from knowing without a shadow of doubt, that “this too shall pass.” Nice read, Ardis.

    • Ardis Mayo

      Thank you, Francisca. Especially your observation about our work/business being part of our 24 hour joyful life. I just realized, a roller coaster is a kind of mobius strip…will have to write about that some day.

  • Bonnie Keast

    I’d add that “life is more about how we respond” to it. Reacting is instinctive. Responding is choice. By making the choice as to how we respond to events, crushed dreams, great challenges we have the opportunity to feel joy. If we merely react we can easily get stuck.

    • Ardis Mayo

      Bonnie, you are absolutely right. Thank you. It give me joy to respond to your comments!

  • geraldine stinson

    Thank you Ardis

  • Pat Blethen

    Thank you Ardis for a very timely reminder!

  • Cindy

    Thanks — a lovely reflection!

  • Isabel Talens

    Ardis, I truly love your advice!!!!!! I particularly love 2 & 3, which tend to be forgotten often. Once again, excellent content!! ???

    • Ardis Mayo

      Thank you, Isabel for your affirmations. May you always find joy in your life.

  • Nisha

    Beautiful article Ardis 🙂 I can’t agree more, especially with no. 3, again and again, life proves that all we need and seek is deep within us

    • Ardis Mayo

      Thank you Nisha. Yes, the source is so close…and we struggle so much about going there.

  • Ellen-Dara Perfit

    Sometimes I wonder if I am too introspective and don’t allow myself to feel joy but then I look at my cats who get so excited at having a good meal or being petted. They run around the house and literally bounce with glee to show their joy. Everything is so visceral with them and they use their bodies and voices to express themselves. Dogs also. What joy to watch their uncomplicated happiness!
    The problem is that we can think about the future and its implications which certainly can tap down any joy we feel.

    • Ardis Mayo

      Thank you for your reflections. They open up the whole area of ‘somatic’ joy. I wonder if we are more body-centered than animals with our feelings? Perhaps not, as I know some animals who will throw up when they are stressed. I study my dog to learn how to live in the NOW. Cats…I don’t know about.