Aging

Is there a difference between aging and growing old?

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aging tree trunk

Is there a difference between aging and growing old?

That is the question I want to explore because how we use language affects our mindset. And mindset affects our ability to live the fullest life possible.

What does it mean to ‘Age?’

My Aunt Gladys had aged into white hair and wrinkles when I was a child. When she smiled, the lines on her face changed directions and spoke a language of love that drew me close to hear her wisdom. 

aging woman with kind eyesI suppose she grew ‘old’ but I never noticed. When she died twenty years later she had the same white hair and wrinkles. 

But she left memories of learning to knit, of doing my homework in her tiny apartment and playing ‘Beer Barrel Polka’ on the piano. I have always looked forward to aging well like Aunt Gladys. 

Aging reflects the effect of the passage of time on our being. As we add on years we develop hues of compassion in our tone of speech, or manner of listening. 

We age into softly reshaped beings with new eyes and ears and the power to bring depth into the lives of people we touch. That is what I learned from Aunt Gladys.

What does it mean to grow ‘old?’

 When we use the term ‘old’ on the other hand, we are referencing a process of deterioration, like rust on an old truck, or mold on bread. 

There is an ‘ew’ factor with old that puts people off and limits the connection and impact they have on the world.

old man bent over standing in profileI had an uncle on the other side of my family who was ‘old!’ from the time I was a child. 

 Like my aunt, he had white hair and wrinkles. However, his hair was one big comb-over from ear to ear which failed to cover his bald head and often fell off, draping to his shoulder. 

Toothless and deaf, he never engaged in communication beyond a grunt. He lived approximately as long as my aunt but seldom smiled, and insisted on weird food combinations to accommodate his rigid ideas of what was healthy.

 He left memories of mashed potatoes, cauliflower, and poached fish because anything with ‘color’ wasn’t supposed to be good for you. I knew from an early age I never wanted to be that old!

The difference between aging and growing old

The distinction between aging and old was described by Paul the apostle in his letter to Corinth where he stated, “though our outward man perishes, our inward man is renewed day by day.”

 I would reword that language to “though our bodies lose elasticity and hair, our inner selves continue to mature every day.”

As I reflect on the difference between growing old and aging, I realize I have a choice. Already I have lost a lot of hair and my face is showing wrinkles, but neither hair nor wrinkles can limit my inner growth.

Nor can some of the other signs of a high-mileage body. Changes in mobility, hearing, and vision, and even cognition happen when we get to a certain birthday.  

But that is the outward being Paul talks about. I may influence my appearance a wee bit with nutrition and body oils. But I am not going to change things a whole lot.

On the other hand, if I embrace aging, I will continue to grow in wisdom, creativity, compassion, and understanding. 

I choose Aging!   

footsteps in the sand

 

I want to follow in the footsteps of Aunt Gladys.

To impact a few people who may come into my humble space.

When I die with wrinkles and white hair, I want to be known as someone who knew how to Age, yet never grew Old.

 

 

[PHOTO CREDITS from UNSPLASH.com: aging-tree-trunk-by-felix-mittermeier; aging-woman-by-parej-richard; old-man-by-mika; footsteps-by-monique-olie]

Ardis Mayo
Latest posts by Ardis Mayo (see all)

  • Francisca

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    Agree with you, Ardis. “Old” is a state of mind, one that we do have some control over. “Aging” is the effects of inevitable passage of time on our bodies. I’ve know old 18-year-olds and young 88-year-olds. I’m with you… learning and growing every day even as my body ages.

    • Ardis Mayo

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      Our state of mind (mindset) doesn’t always control the rust when there is high mileage, but it changes how we drive, doesn’t it?!

  • Eleanor Miller

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    Wise and wonderful words. I, too, choose to age. I hope that I am doing it well, with love, humor, and grace.

  • Peg Olson

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    YES!!! I agree!!

  • Pat

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    I love the way that perspective makes a huge difference. The expression “you are as young as you feel” is more about attitude than physical aches and pains.

    • Ardis Mayo

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      YOu got it, Pat! Mindset doesn’t grow old unless we refuse to change it.

  • Della

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    I choose aging as well!

    • Ardis Mayo

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      May we hold one another to our commitment to the beauty of aging…especially when the bones ache and ranting seems so available.

  • Tasha Halpert

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    Absolutely right on. My mom had a great saying: “the outside keeps o getting older but the inside hardly changes at all.” That “inside” is the eternal child within us. When we let her or him partner with us we have the strongest ever defence against the negative effects of aging. My inner self is my precious friend and companion. Tasha

  • Leslie Bingham

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    I’m going the “fine wine” route. The older I get , the better!! You share with us great words Ardis, especially as I deal with a mom who turns 98 this February!!

  • Sue

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    (edited for brevity)…Then there was my childhood next door neighbor, Mrs. Duncan. She died at 101. There was nothing old about her! Right until her end, my partner in her mid 50s and myself in my early 40s would turn to her, in good times and bad. She just knew what we needed! She knew how to “play”, to let off steam, to feel and to bring such value and succinct healing. Feelings were ok! She never talked at us. She talked with us, throwing in stories of her life with her soulmate of 68 yrs. Her stories were great lessons in life, that still reverberate today.

    • Ardis Mayo

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      Thank you for the glimpse into growing old with grace and joy.