Is there a difference between aging and growing old?
Is there a difference between aging and growing old?
That is the question I want to explore because how we use language affects our mindset. And mindset affects our ability to live the fullest life possible.
What does it mean to ‘Age?’
My Aunt Gladys had aged into white hair and wrinkles when I was a child. When she smiled, the lines on her face changed directions and spoke a language of love that drew me close to hear her wisdom.
I suppose she grew ‘old’ but I never noticed. When she died twenty years later she had the same white hair and wrinkles.
But she left memories of learning to knit, of doing my homework in her tiny apartment and playing ‘Beer Barrel Polka’ on the piano. I have always looked forward to aging well like Aunt Gladys.
Aging reflects the effect of the passage of time on our being. As we add on years we develop hues of compassion in our tone of speech, or manner of listening.
We age into softly reshaped beings with new eyes and ears and the power to bring depth into the lives of people we touch. That is what I learned from Aunt Gladys.
What does it mean to grow ‘old?’
When we use the term ‘old’ on the other hand, we are referencing a process of deterioration, like rust on an old truck, or mold on bread.
There is an ‘ew’ factor with old that puts people off and limits the connection and impact they have on the world.
I had an uncle on the other side of my family who was ‘old!’ from the time I was a child.
Like my aunt, he had white hair and wrinkles. However, his hair was one big comb-over from ear to ear which failed to cover his bald head and often fell off, draping to his shoulder.
Toothless and deaf, he never engaged in communication beyond a grunt. He lived approximately as long as my aunt but seldom smiled, and insisted on weird food combinations to accommodate his rigid ideas of what was healthy.
He left memories of mashed potatoes, cauliflower, and poached fish because anything with ‘color’ wasn’t supposed to be good for you. I knew from an early age I never wanted to be that old!
The difference between aging and growing old
The distinction between aging and old was described by Paul the apostle in his letter to Corinth where he stated, “though our outward man perishes, our inward man is renewed day by day.”
I would reword that language to “though our bodies lose elasticity and hair, our inner selves continue to mature every day.”
As I reflect on the difference between growing old and aging, I realize I have a choice. Already I have lost a lot of hair and my face is showing wrinkles, but neither hair nor wrinkles can limit my inner growth.
Nor can some of the other signs of a high-mileage body. Changes in mobility, hearing, and vision, and even cognition happen when we get to a certain birthday.
But that is the outward being Paul talks about. I may influence my appearance a wee bit with nutrition and body oils. But I am not going to change things a whole lot.
On the other hand, if I embrace aging, I will continue to grow in wisdom, creativity, compassion, and understanding.
I choose Aging!
I want to follow in the footsteps of Aunt Gladys.
To impact a few people who may come into my humble space.
When I die with wrinkles and white hair, I want to be known as someone who knew how to Age, yet never grew Old.
[PHOTO CREDITS from UNSPLASH.com: aging-tree-trunk-by-felix-mittermeier; aging-woman-by-parej-richard; old-man-by-mika; footsteps-by-monique-olie]
