DEKKER'S ADVICE FOR PEOPLE IN PAIN

INTRODUCING DEKKER

Most of what you read on this blog comes from my reflections on several different topics, and I hope you find them helpful or inspirational. As most readers know, I live with Dekker – a NEADS trained service dog who is by my side night and day, giving me the confidence I need to tackle some things I might find difficult. He may have heard me lamenting that I am behind in my blog writing, and he seems to have a lot of hidden talents I never knew he had. I decided to allow him to respond to readers’ questions with “Dekker Advice.” You will have to tell me if I should put out a shingle and charge a nickel! Or more fittingly, five pieces of kibble. If you have questions for Dekker, you may send it to him on my contact page.

DEKKER’S STORY

I am a Black Lab whose origins go back to the Guiding Eyes breeding program. When I was only a few weeks old, I went to NEADS, where I learned basic obedience before going to prison. You can read more about me and how I got trained here.

I am so glad I can serve readers of The Reflective Pen. I let Ardis do the typing because she said she doesn’t want my hair in her computer. (My feet are too big, anyway!) I hope my reflections are helpful. Thank you for sending your questions.

DEKKER’S ADVICE

Dear Dekker,

I am getting bored with life. Everything I do seems to have
no meaning lately. I live alone, and I seldom go out. It seems
like I never see my friends. There are so many rules now
about what you can do and what you can’t do
that I want to throw my mask in the river
and jump in after it. Any advice?

Thank you,
Nellie.

Woof! Nellie, I understand. I really do. My purpose is to help my human as a service dog, but she never goes anywhere fun anymore. I feel useless. I’m not fond of TV since Lassie reruns stopped. The answer to your question is not in the TV, but I suspect you know that. And I know all about rules! They never stop. “Stand.” Sit.” Lie Down.” “Stay.” Makes no sense. The secret to maintaining your happiness is like mine. It comes from serving others. While you are stuck at home, you could be like me and write to people. Could you give them a word of encouragement? I get a lot of meaning from making others smile. Don’t jump into the river. You will get all wet. I know. It happened to me. But if you do, then shake real hard until you dry off—Woof woof.

************

Dear Dekker,

I lost my closest friend recently,
and my heart is broken.
What can I do to feel better?

Thank you, Nick.

Woof! Woof, Nick. I know a thing or two about love. No one can ever get enough. People are no different than dogs in that way. And it hurts to lose someone you love. I lost the four dogs I grew up with when we all went to different homes. We had done everything together. Even curled up at night. I sleep better, curled up against someone who understands me. Then I switched from cuddling dogs to cuddling a human. Do you have a furry friend to cuddle? Cuddling doesn’t fix anything, but it helps make me feel better. If that doesn’t work, I have a Corgi friend who licks her feet. I try to avoid that, but she insists it makes her feel better when she is lonely. You may want to try it—Woof woof.

*************

Dear Dekker,

I don’t know what to do about my anxiety.
I’m even afraid you will laugh at me for writing,
but I need help to find peace of mind.

Can you help me?
Nancy

Woof, Nancy. I’ve never been an anxious dog, but I can feel your nervousness inside of me. The same way I can feel cold when I go outside in the winter. This tells me the anxiety is not in your mind. It is in your body. Many times my human thinks I am asleep because I am lying so still. But I’ll tell you a secret. I am quiet because I want to feel and hear and see and sniff everything in my world. You might call it ‘staying present.’ This keeps my body at peace, and my mind relaxed. My focus on the smells and sounds are my way of meditating. Check it out and let me know if meditation helps. Woof Woof.

*****************

Dear Dekker,

I often get hard on myself for not doing enough
about all the problems I see around me. I wish I could
make everyone’s pain go away, or at least less than it is.

What would you do?
Nate

Woof, Nate. It is hard to watch problems you can’t fix. When Ardis gets very sad, I can’t fix her sorrow. I want to give her a big sloppy kiss, but she doesn’t notice me. So I stay close by and keep my big brown eyes turned towards her. I watch the sadness itself. I know when it moves. I know when it speaks. If there is something that it asks for, I am ready. But I know I am not supposed to move until I have been given a command. So I sit and breathe along with her. It may look easy, but it is challenging work. Perhaps that is why I sleep so much. I say the best thing to do is to sit like me and wait for a command to move. If you do this well, there may be kibble ahead.

Woof woof.

******************

Thank you for this opportunity to serve. It’s what I love doing and why I am called a ‘Service Dog’. Woof! You can read more about service dogs here. If you have any problems I can help you with, drop Ardis a line on the contact page, and if my advice helps you, would you leave a comment below? Woof Woof!

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Ardis Mayo

I am Ardis Mayo, Soul Care Advocate with a passion to empower you to live your best life possible in all circumstances. Follow me on Twitter - ardismayowriter. Let's have a conversation.