How Old is “Old”
Are you old yet? Or more to the point—do you worry about getting old? And exactly how old is ‘old?’
I have asked myself these questions over the years and I cannot seem to pin down what I mean.
I often say “I lived my old age first” because of serious illness in my 20’s that required caregiving by others and many restrictions based on poor vison and cognitive impairment.
I still think about the meaning of that experience in light of my nearly 78 years of what I call a full life today.
Am I old yet? Was I old then?
I have some aches and pains I didn’t have five years ago…but I no longer define my age by my body or years.
I wrote about the difference between Doing and Being recently, and in that article I spoke of a woman I know in her 90’s who I visit in a nursing home.
By most definitions she qualifies as old. She is no longer able to ‘do’ that which used to give her life meaning, but in her ‘being’ she is a gift to every person who enters her sphere.
When I reference her as an old friend, I am not talking about her clinical age or condition.
I say old because I have known her for years. But I had ‘old friends’ when I was in my twenties.
Is it the same ‘old?’
The Problem of Ageism
‘Old’ can have a perjorative meaning in our culture. Known as ageism, ‘old’ is a destructive mindset where advanced years are seen as burdensome and decline, which isn’t necessarly so.
“He’s too old for that job” is ageism.
Even the marketing world uses this mindset to give discounts to people over 55 (which we are all happy to take).
But this, too, is based on the idea that old people are less able to afford things, which isn’t necessarily true. Most billionaires are over 55!
Often we refer to outdated things as old or obsolete. For example “That phone is so old” implies it is no longer useful.
Technology, fashion and ideas age faster than you can find a place for them in your life.
Sadly, being older is wrongly equated with being less capable.
While waiting in line for a lab test I heard a farmer say he was 88, and he was sharing with gusto how he still plows and mows and milks cows every day. I would hate to have anyone tell him he’s too old to be doing that job!
Old and Cherished
There is a positive sense of this word, though. Along with old friends I refer to nostalgic things I cherish as old, like my mother’s old locket.
It is valuable because of the memories it contains, not because of its worth on the marketplace.
It points to the love she received from her mother who gave it to her, and the love she bestowed on me when she passed it on.
Wisdom and Age
In some other cultures, eg. Native American and Japanese, ‘old’ is associated with wisdom and their elders are revered for their experience.
We occasionally refer to ‘an old soul’— a child or young adult with depth beyond their years.
But even that reference is fading as our youth are more and more raised by ‘digital nannies’ and losing the wisdom of their elders.
I like the term “old-fashioned” which can mean charming and quaint, like an old-fashioned love letter.
But it can point to something rigid and behind the times, like out-dated social norms.
(And yes, it can refer to a cocktail, which is another entirely different use of the word!)
My take on “Old”
I lean toward understanding old as ancestral and sacred. I read the Old Testament to understand various religious teachings. I hear “Old World” implying greater tradition and cultural depth, and people often speak of institutions like Oxford and Harvard where ‘old’ implies prestige.
Old can even refer to eternal—“as old as time” or “the old gods” or the “old order.”
Personally I like the image of the Old Oak Tree or the Old Guard (in military contexts) that symbolize resilience, tradition and lasting impact, along with things that grow old with age, like friendship, whiskey and ancient wisdom.
So what has this long discussion of “old” taught me?
I believe I am free to use whatever definition I choose to describe my advancing years.
Consider the Old Oak Tree
I choose Old Oak Tree. I look forward to a day when my wisdom is deep and sought after.
So old I am deeply grounded and my roots will not move, even when the part of me that stands tall today falls and returns to the earth.
When I visit my friend in the nursing home I pass many ‘old’ people, bent over in their wheelchairs, or stretched out practically lifeless on their beds.
I can choose to see them as useless, and burdensome…or I can revere them like my mother’s old locket.
I can remember that they, too, have roots I cannot see and that there are many lives that were nourished or housed in their branches before flying away…family, friends, neighbors, employees, bosses, store clerks, pastors, and strangers who only landed on a leaf for a second and flew off.
These people in the ‘old age home’ (Yikes! I hate that term) may be old in years, but they are just beginning a journey to a new world we know nothing about except by faith.
Beginners on a journey are babes, are they not?
If you have thoughts, worries, or wisdom about aging I hope you allow them to come and go, like the leaves on a great oak, carrying life giving seed to those who are stressing about being 39.
Or you could share them in the comments below!
