Aging Gratefully
Are you aging gratefully? Growing older is a privilege that not everyone gets to experience.
Some days I think my dog understands gratefulness and aging better than I.
My dad didn’t get the chance because of cancer. A good friend of mine was killed in her early 20’s in an auto accident.
There are days I look in the mirror and ask “what did I do to deserve my long life?” I chuckle at the wrinkles and thinning hair. They don’t distress me. The signs of aging remind me that I am alive.
I liken it to choosing an avocado. It’s the ones with wrinkles and a bit of age on them that are the tastiest.
As I’ve aged, I’ve learned to appreciate the gift of life with all of its ups and downs, and practicing gratitude has helped me stay positive and embrace the aging process.
I’m thankful for every day I get to wake up and experience life. Even the days when life brings me the pain of plantar faciitis or the grief of losing a beloved pet or friend.
Each evening before I go to bed, I write three things I am grateful for before I turn out the light.
Gratitude is better than a sleeping pill. It may not knock me out for the night, but the only ‘hang-over’ the next morning is a smile as I start my day with thankfulness that I woke up.
Practicing gratitude has sustained me through some tough times and made wonderful memories.
I remember the time I returned from an extended hospitalization when my boys were young. A whole group of neighbors had arrived to split wood, harvest an overgrown garden, put up soups and casseroles and clean my house.
They literally ‘blitzed’ in and out of my life in a single day.
However, I wasn’t the most grateful recipient.
I was drowning in feelings of guilt for not being able to do these things myself. I made more apologies than expressions of gratitude with suggestions that they had better things to do.
Then one woman spoke the wisest words I have ever received.
She said “Don’t take away our opportunity to give.”
Heather taught me that receiving was the gift I had to give others.
Receiving affirmed their sacrifice and gave meaning to their lives. I never forgot it!I have been a grateful receiver ever since.
As I look towards the years ahead I know I shall be on the receiving end more than I might wish. I pray that I remember that to receive with gratitude is to give.
My life hasn’t been perfect, but I’ve learned from the challenges I’ve faced.
Every failure has created a step towards success. Every loss has opened my heart to hear the pain of others, and every stupid thing I have ever done (yes, there have been a few!) has strengthened my self-forgiveness muscle.
I could have won the lottery and not gained what I gained from these things.
I would like to say that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve made a conscious effort to focus on the positives.
In some ways I have, but if I am truthful I still rant about politics, I grumble about waste, I worry about homelessness and hungry people, I complain about my ‘random access’ legs that I can’t depend on, and I weep about injustice.
And as I look around me, I don’t think I am particularly unusual.
Am I hypocritical to say that I am also aging gratefully? How does one do that in the midst of all the trials and woes in life?
The same way you play the fiddle. Or golf. Or knit mittens.
Practice!
I have memories of my mother insisting I practice my violin— and the many excuses I made to get out of it.
I am not sure what the problem is with practicing. I just know I never liked to do it. And I also know I am not alone. I wanted to be a musician but I didn’t want to fix mistakes or sound out of tune. I just wanted to have these things happen by magic!
I realize I have the same feelings about spiritual practices. I want to be grateful, I want to be kind, I want to be patient. And the only way to get there is to practice.
‘This is what works for me: I make a list of three things I’m thankful for every day, big or small. I try not to duplicate out of laziness. I surround myself with positive people and activities which helps me stay grateful. And I find some way to express my thankfulness to someone else each day.
When it comes to gratitude you will have your own way of practicing ie, time of day, length of practice, means (journaling, thank you notes, planting flowers…). The important piece is awareness and intention. It is easy to forget while we are in the midst of our busy days.
Instead of dreading getting older, I’ve learned to embrace it.
Each wrinkle and gray hair is a reminder of the life I’ve lived and the experiences I’ve had. I’m grateful for the wisdom and perspective that comes with age.
Aging is a natural part of life, and I’m thankful for every moment I get to experience something (a loss, an ache, a loose tooth) that reminds me how I am lucky enough to have gotten this far.
Growing older is a privilege. Practicing gratitude for the gift of longevity keeps me counting the blessings that outnumber my pains. And on those days when nothing goes right and everything hurts, I go to bed with the knowledge that either my fiddle is in tune or I need to do something about it. Or put another way
- Things will be better and I will give thanks or
- Things will be worse and I get to practice the tough notes.
In the end life is a symphony, with some harmonious passages, a melancholy moment or two with some dissonance and perhaps a bit of cacophany, and then a wonderful grand finale. I want to hear it all. I want to live it all!
Are you grateful for TheReflectivePen?
Let me send you something to ponder every Sunday morning!
