AGING AS A CAUSE TO CELEBRATE
Even though our vision changes, wrinkles appear, bones get brittle, and our teeth may fall out, aging is a cause to celebrate.
It doesn’t matter how old you are right at this moment. You and I and every living thing are aging and will continue to age until we die.
(Photo by Alex-Harvey on Unsplash)
Yet the steps along the way give us reason to sing and dance if we travel with our eyes open!
Some of us step with grace–some with difficulty. It is natural that we ‘feel’ age when we hit a milestone or knee replacement.
Sometimes maturing calls for a party, as when I celebrated my 16th birthday. I had arrived at the age I could legally drive.
I partied again on my 21st. Not sure, though, if that was maturity or legality.
A friend’s mother is a vibrant 94 and celebrates with a big gathering of family and friends every year.
Some people sing and dance when they reach the age of retirement, and some never celebrate at all–for any reason. Aging–and how we celebrate– is extremely personal! (Photo by Glenn-Han on Unsplash)
I can’t tell you exactly how old my oldest son is without stopping to figure it out. From the age of 3, when asked, ‘how old are you?’ He would reply, ‘Going on four.’
Now in his late forties, he continues to answer with ‘going on…’.
I like his approach because it brings happy anticipation to getting older–and precludes getting stuck at any given age.
WHY DOES AGING CAUSE
US TO QUAKE?
A gerontologist (a doctor who specializes in caring for us folks who are over retirement age) may attribute shakiness to “old age.”
I beg to differ! I think there is an existential quaking that goes on anytime we reach a particularly significant birthday.
First of all, after having ‘arrived’ at whatever age we thought was the perfect year, we are on a relentless journey of transformation.
And who likes to change? Even this pug has an opinion about the changes in his life. (Photo by Karin-Hiselius on Unsplash)
One day you hike 14 miles uphill in the rain, and the next, you scan for benches along a well-maintained one-mile loop trail.
What changed?
First of all, with maturity comes the wisdom to slow down, smell the grass after a rain, listen to birds, and embrace every moment.
But maturity also brings worn joints and failing eyesight.
I have read that every cell in our body gets replaced every seven years.
My complaint is, I want my young cells back!
The new ones don’t work the same.
Some of them crowd together in furrows called wrinkles. (Photo by Inbetween-Architects on Unsplash)
Furrows belong in a cornfield…not in my body.
Other cells forget their purpose and create useless tumors in unsightly areas.
Eventually, a few are destined to ‘cellular promiscuity,’ replicating without restraint and result in a diagnosis of cancer.
So what is there to celebrate, you ask?
VISION CHANGES IN AGING
There remains a positive note in this aging of ours, however. A change for the better in our vision! If you are lucky enough to have cataract surgery, you may receive the most precise images you have ever seen!
Severely near-sighted my entire life, I couldn’t find a doorway without my glasses on. (Photo by Charles-Deluvio on Unsplash)
They were the first thing I put on in the morning and the last thing taken off at night.
I turned to a magnifying glass as cataracts clouded what vision I had.
Corrective lenses were as necessary as oxygen for my survival.
That is until I had cataracts removed and the miracle of new lenses in each eye.
To emerge from surgery with 20-20 vision is one of the gifts of aging that no one told me.
ANOTHER CHANGE IN VISION
Along with 20-20 vision comes another change in vision — one of perspective and not related to cataract surgery. Or any number of other age-related eye conditions.
When we are 20 (or 30 or 40 or….), we look through forward-facing lenses into an unknown future. (Photo by Bud-Helisson on Unsplash)
It feels like we were always preparing for ‘tomorrow,’ whether that was to get more education, plan for a family, jockey for a better job, or set goals for retirement.
The view into the future, colored by hope and desire, could be shadowed by unexpected changes in circumstances.
We celebrated many milestones – marriage, births, promotions, new homes.
Of course, there was also dalliance with loss and grief as we bumped into illness, financial reversal, and death of loved ones.
But mostly in our youth, we face East with high expectations at each sunrise. (Photo by Pablo-Heimplatz on Unsplah)
At some point in this thing called aging, we switch to ‘rearview lenses’ and enter a season of remembering.
We try not to let go of our hopes and desires, but our view is now facing West, and we are watching the sun descend below the horizon. (Photo by Johannes-Plenio on Unsplash)
We say ‘Goodbye’ as frequently as ‘Hello.’
What may have been a ‘dalliance’ with grief in our youth is now ‘marriage’ with sorrow. We bury loved ones, release unfulfilled dreams, and struggle with bodily aches and pains that were once jokes.
Divorce from this marriage with grief is not an option.
We must find a way to live peacefully in this new, unintended relationship.
The road to living successfully with pain as a partner is long and complicated.
I would be lying to suggest otherwise.
One thing I have learned, however, is that sorrow knows the road better than I do.
Grief awakens my sensitivities to life and can guide me as surely as a GPS in matters of the spirit.
I have learned to trust grief and not shoo her away. As my physical vision fails, I will need all the wisdom and experience I can find to lead me onward with faith and courage into a less well-lit future.
I have learned to celebrate in spite of losses, as each loss is an invitation to step closer into Mystery.
AS OUR VISION CHANGES, SO DO THE LENSES WE LOOK THROUGH
Which lenses do you look through today?
I ask because it isn’t uncommon as we age to have several pairs of glasses scattered throughout our lives. (Photo by Edi-Libedinsky on Unsplash)
Readers, sunglasses, ‘blue light’ lenses for the computer, 3-D for certain movies, and perhaps a couple of pair for fashion accessories are a few.
Every person looks through different lenses at different times.
I have been accused of wearing ‘rose-colored glasses’ because I live with terminal optimism, a condition that many find difficult to appreciate.
One person looks at a forest fire through a lens of great personal suffering and sees devastation.
Another looks through a lens of abundance and personal freedom to see creative possibilities everywhere.
Did you ever put on someone else’s glasses by mistake? We all see things so differently.
Is it any wonder why there is discord in the world?
Today, may we remember to keep all our lenses clean and close at hand so we won’t stumble on our journey from lack of clarity and (in)sight.
And may we grow in trust that where our natural vision fails, we will walk (and celebrate) with new, deeper vision and insight on this journey of aging.
I hope you enjoyed this reflection that our ‘inner vision’ vs. our aging eyes may see more in-depth and brighter than ever before in our lives. To quote a well-known writer “Once I was blind, but now I see.” (John 9:25).
If you have a friend who may be just turning west after a lifetime of watching the sunrise, feel free to share this article.
And look for more articles on aging, because right now, that seems to be my area of experience, if not expertise.
In the meantime, if aging is bringing you new challenges, you may find support with https://thereflectivepen.com/difficult-diagnosis/ or an article about how to accept an assistive device https://thereflectivepen.com/assistive-device/.
