Growing Old for the Fun of It
What’s funny about growing old?
I often say “I am growing old for the fun of it,” but the other day I stumbled stepping off a curb and an image of myself plastered face first on the pavement flashed in front of my eyes.
This isn’t at all funny. My mind did a fast forward to broken hips, and extended rehab…not to mention the embarrassment of being a spectacle for passersby.
No, things like this aren’t funny. And yet I laughed. And I’m still laughing when I think about it.
Why would I do that? I’m not talking about a nervous twitter because I was embarrassed.
I laughed a full happy belly laugh, remembering a time my kids were toddlers and they would fall repeatedly as they learned to walk.
Adults would clap, as they picked them up and encouraged them to try again.
I laughed because I learned long ago that laughter is the best anti-aging remedy.
It won’t prevent me from having yet another birthday, but it will add a wee bit of happy hormones to my system, and added up, they give me me the best chance of staying healthy for the long run.
But I knew there was no one was around who would laugh and encourage me to try it again.
The Serious Side
They would react with concern at the possibility that I might hurt myself.
Their concern is appreciated the same way I appreciated being picked up at the age of one as my tears were wiped away to the refrain of “now, now, you’re fine. Want to try again?” and lots of praise when I jumped down to try walking again, laughing all the while.
But when you are over a certain age and stumble there is no such response. Is it because the consequences could be a lot more dire?
Perhaps.
Our fear of breaking bones, or becoming dependent is real. Everything we have worked for flashes before our eyes, and it doesn’t feel like a laughing matter.
Plus we are falling from a greater distance with a bigger load!
Difference between laughing ‘at’ and laughing ‘in the midst’
When I laugh in difficult circumstances I am not laughing at what happened, for that would be a sign of callousness.
I am laughing in the midst of it.
When I am able to tap into a deep inner joy that cannot be broken or lost in a fall, or an injury, or diagnosis, I can laugh—or at least smile.
My smile is not about the event, but reflects the spirit with which I will tackle this challenge.
Confronting assumptions
One problem that we face in life is how to confront other people’s assumptions.
They see me carrying a cane and assume I have less capacity for life than they do.
Or that I have more needs than they do.
Or that I must be struggling (“poor soul.”)
And in the case of a fall they often assume I am suffering…or will be. I become the recipient of all of their projected fears.
Now that is a load I don’t want to carry!!!
The thing is, because of MS I have used a cane for over 50 years and, on occasion, other mobility devices that restore my ability to get where I am going.
Being goal oriented
Being goal oriented helps to overcome negative messages.
I confess that one of my goals (besides not falling) is not to be mistaken for being drunk. People are going to continue to project their concerns about what they are afraid of, be it incapacity, pain, or death and I understand that using a cane causes other people discomfort.
Years ago I was given a wooden cane that had been handpainted a lovely blue and covered with colorful flowers.
I wish I had it today.
It was the start of many glorious conversations. Along with much laughter as we explored creative ideas for getting from point a to point b —which is after all our intent, is it not?
I love the idea of travel by helium balloons suspending me about an inch above the ground.
How to steer it though, or getting into an automobile may prove to be a bit cumbersome!
I confess I have become a bit of a mobility device geek, driven in part by the experience of a condition that changes with the phases of the moon…or so it seems. One of my joys has been to lend a ‘walking bike’ to an elderly neighbor who is thrilled to be able to continue his daily walks with his buddies.
I would love to start a movement (no pun intended) to get elders off the sofa and back into life with creative solutions to their limitations….but it is going to have to begin with mindset.
What good will it do to design a cane with racing stripes if someone feels too much shame in using it in the first place.
Perhaps I could organize a sword fight using walking sticks?
When my children were little I turned my not very classy walker on its side on the floor and they used it as a climbing gym.
I used it to build memories of having fun, of laughing at the ways they tried to make a tent out of it but they were too big to crawl inside.
My younger son grew up to build a thriving business making homes and public spaces accessible.
His reason? “I don’t want people to have to wait coming home from the hospital because they can’t get into or around their own homes.”
I wonder where he learned about that?
If life is meant to be fully lived, as I believe it is, then it is time to consider what devices will help when moving about is no longer simple— and to ponder all the fun you will have that you may have thought was over.
It’s never over until it’s over!
Let’s age together for the fun of it!
Why not join us on this journey!
Let’s have some fun along the way!
