Dekker on the Subject of Aging
If you are new to reading “Dekker’s Page” of canine wisdom for people problems I pass along his welcome to you….”Woof Woof!”. Dekker always responds to comments, from both people and their pets. and if your cat, or hamster, or parakeet has any questions, do send them along.
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Dear Dekker,
Do you ever think about what will become of you when you are too old to be a service dog? I am facing retirement and I worry about the day I will be too old to be of any use to the people I love.
Aging Allen
Woof, woof Allen….Being a service dog is the only thing I have ever done (well, that and play ball with my person!) so I am sure it will be disorienting when I am not allowed to wear my red vest because I have ‘aged out’ as people say.
Whatever you wear for work will change too. What we do for work is only a tiny piece of who we are in this big world. It is more about who we are inside our fur.
You talk about being of use as if you were an old car that will sit in a junk yard and rust out. I see growing old as moving from fetching to cuddling.
When I am too old to chase a ball or pick up the things my person drops, I will still be soft and warm.
I will give her love with my big brown eyes and wag my tail. I hope I don’t lose the wiggle in my butt, but if that happens I’ll just lay my head in her lap and let her feel my ears.
These are the things that are important, and I don’t think we appreciate them until we get old enough to let go of being too busy to get our ears rubbed.
Dear Dekker,
I had to have all my teeth pulled when I went to the dentist, and next week I am getting a hearing aid. This growing old is no fun. No fun at all! How do you keep your spirits up?
Toothless Tom
Woof Woof, Tom,
I had to have a tooth pulled last year and I agree with you. It’s no fun. No fun at all.
Now that it is gone, though, I feel so much better. It didn’t affect my tail at all. It still wags.
Don’t stop wagging your tail just because you can’t bite into your kibble. Let your kibble sit in some warm water and it will be just fine.
As to growing old, my person tells me my chin is getting grey but she still loves me.
Just knowing someone loves me keeps my spirits soaring. If you don’t have a person who loves you wrinkles and all, go get a dog. He won’t care if you can’t hear or climb the stairs.
A good dog only wants to curl up next to you and if you listen, he will tell you, you are perfect, just the way you are.
Dear Dekker,
I had a whole list of things I wanted to tell you about growing older, but i can’t remember where I put it. I can’t even remember what I put on the list. How can I improve my memory as I grow old?
Forgetful Francine
Woof Woof Francine…if you are trying to remember lists or recipes or the day of the week, I have to say I would have trouble too and I am not even officially ‘old’.
I depend on the people around me to do the tough memory tasks and I am OK with that.
One of the pups I went to school with no longer works as a service dog because she couldn’t remember most of the forty commands we were taught.
That is a different problem because forgetting how to get home when you go out could leave you sleeping on the street.
One thing my person does with me is daily repetition of the things I am expected to know. Doing things over and over every day is the secret that helps me remember my right from my left and other important things like that.
How can you add repetition and consistency to your daily schedule? These, together with a bit of kibble when you remember correctly what you are doing, will work wonders for your memory.
Dear Dekker
I filled out my last will and testament the other day, but I have no assurances that after I am gone people will manage my resources the way I want them to. I know dogs don’t have a will but surely you have some things you might like your loved ones to know when you are gone. How do you manage that?
Conrad the Controller
Woof, woof, Conrad: Yes, I definitely want my person to be happy after I am gone. And I would want my toys and nice new bed to go to another A-1 service dog for her.
But if they don’t, that’s OK too.
She may want to keep my things around to process her grief. She may want to encourage another person who has a new puppy by giving her my stuff.
She may even just throw it all away.
I’m not able to control the decisions she makes today like going to the store instead of the beach, or reading a book instead of playing ball with me. I certainly won’t be able to control her when I am gone.
Why would you?
Dear Dekker,
Why do people make fun of the signs of old age like wrinkles and poor memory? It feels so cruel, especially when I see my own bald head and white whiskers in the mirror. I am never sure how to respond to the cracks others make.
Old Owen
Woof woof, Owen. I can’t honestly say why people do unkind things like that. I am glad I am a dog because the only thing I care about is your heartbeat and how you smell. (And perhaps the kibble jar).
A wrinkled hand can still scratch my back. And if you forget when it is time to feed me, I am really really good at reminders.
People who make wisecracks are like puppies who are afraid of change. They yap a lot and might bite when they are frightened.
It takes a lot of patience to help them feel confident that they are not going to be neglected just because you look different.
My best wisdom when they make wisecracks is to remember how scared they might be, offer them a piece of kibble and lay your head in their lap.
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